Recently, Kylie Bisutti was back in the press.
A while back, she made a small splash when she said that she was going to quit being a Victoria Secret model due to her faith.
She’s back in the news because she’s now coming out with a new book, I’m No Angel. (Victoria  Secret has come out and said that Kylie was never a Victoria Secret Angel and that a lot of her stories are fabricated. She won an online model competition held by VS and that was the only association that VS claims to have had with Kylie).

Kylie said that more than being a lingerie model, she felt the need to be a Proverbs 31 wife. I’ve heard that phrase, or title, quite often recently and I was a bit embarrassed that I didn’t know what they meant when they said Proverbs 31 wife. So I looked it up and saw that there was a section called “The Competent Wife” (Common English Bible). Funnily enough, there isn’t a proverb section called “The Competent Husband.” But maybe you don’t need to be a competent husband when you have 700 wives and 300 concubines. Or  if you’re the one writing the Proverbs, or something.

When I first heard this story — before she was coming out with the book and made national headlines — I have to admit, my initial reaction was an eye-roll. Like c’mon. Stop trying to be all holier-than-thou when this was the career that you were pursuing. Or just quit, without letting the world know.

But now, I commend her for standing up for who she believes she is. For not bending her morals for a paycheck.

Which made me entertain the idea that I have a rather divided self.
There’s the Christian/Pastor side of me. Then there’s Me. The crazy thing is I almost typed “the Real Me.” Which is just mind bogglingly boggling. (That reminds me. One of my first blogs was called Mind Bloggling. I thought I was so clever…)

I always thought it was naive for Christians to question the type of media that I (and other Christians) would engage in.
I’d roll my eyes or scoff when Christians would question my reading certain books (like Harry Potter… oooh wizardly magic) or listen to certain type of music (recently, someone in my office saw a book of poems by Tupac Shakur. They asked who that was, and I just responded, “It’s a modern theologian and poet” and left it at that) or watching certain movies and TV shows.

While I judge them to be super naive — I have to say that I admire their resolve to not compromise their beliefs. That they feel so strongly about God and faith that they are willing to put aside the immense popularity of a British boy who discovers he is a wizard.
But while I judge you, I ask that you won’t judge my indulgences. (Ha.)

Paul writes, twice, in 1 Corinthians, “Everything is permitted, but everything isn’t beneficial. Everything is permitted, but everything doesn’t build others up.”

Yea, I have the right to do everything and anything I want to — it’s a free country as they say.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is beneficial. And not everything doesn’t build up others. Nor does it build me up.

Over the past few years, my theology has grown and, yes, evolved.
I think that’s great. And necessary in my journey.
But — I also noticed that there is a shift in thought of how I approach faithful living. I’ve become more laxed in my approach to faith and spirituality. Does it have to do with my growth in theology? I don’t know. I don’t think so. But, it’s almost like, because I know more, I do less. 

When I went back to Hawaii recently, I got to see the things that my former youth kids were doing in their faith journey. Their dedication to spiritual disciplines. Early morning prayers every Saturday. Prayer meetings. “Rogue” Bible study meetings. (Where they just get together for bible study — but not really part of the “official” church ministry. My definition) And these were kids.

I got to see the things that my brother’s church were doing, in regards to their spiritual growth and formation.
While I may not completely agree with their approach — that almost makes me feel like they’re isolating themselves from the world — there’s something that feels right about their pursuit of spiritual disciplines and moral inflexibility. Something I sort of lack.

And I don’t like where this road that I’m currently on may be leading. 

When I was struggling with this, I ran across this blog post by Dan Dick (an excerpt from that post):

In a third setting, I advised the Trustees, Staff Parish Relations Committee, Church Council and Lay Leader join the pastor in a solid month of daily prayer and reflection on God’s will for the congregation.  I received a phone call the next morning from the pastor who told me, “You really blew your credibility with my key leaders last night.  We called you for your expertise in planning and you offered a bunch of fluffy hocus-pocus instead of practical ideas.”  When a pastoral leader accepts “fluffy hocus-pocus” as an uncontested definition of prayer, we are in deep trouble.

I don’t want to be in that kind of deep trouble.

But one can only compromise so much before losing their identity. And I think one ends up to a place where prayer seems like “fluffy hocus-pocus” through lots of compromising; by indulging in permitted, but un-beneficial, acts so much so that we end up forgetting who we are and, and even more important, whose we are. Sort of like giving up a birthright.
Esau is easy to make fun of, because he gave up his birthright for a bowl of soup.
But, c’mon. He’s not the only one who compromised their birthright — their identity — for fleeting moments of temptation.

Kylie Bisutti basically said, “This is who I am. This is what I believe. And doing that will compromise all of this.“
Many may not understand. I didn’t at first. And maybe I still don’t. After all, I could easily rationalize and justify it saying that it’s just a ‘job’; a means to an end; a guy’s gotta eat.

But, I do find it admirable that someone was able to stand up for what they believe in. (Without telling anyone else that they are an abomination and going to hell and yada, yada.)

Once, we were at a restaurant enjoying our lunch, when I started hearing sound that wasn't part of the restaurant's music. It sounded like a live TV show with laughing and clapping.

I looked over and saw a mother and daughter eating lunch together. Only, they weren't really eating lunch together.

The daughter had her earphones on and was watching a Korean drama on her iPhone while eating.

The mother did not have earphones, but that did not keep her from watching her Korean talk show while eating her lunch — with the volume up high enough that we could hear.

(Cell-phone etiquette tip #1: No one around you wants to listen to what you're listening to. That also goes with those who have laptops in public places, like coffee shops. If you forget your earphones, do the right and polite thing — just wait until you get home to watch that video or listen to that audio clip. Oh. Tip #1.5 — also, in a public area, don't put your conversation on speaker phone. No one else is interested in your conversation about what you need to pick up at the grocery store. I guara-darn-tee it.)

It was such an odd sight. Mother and daughter eating together, but neither engaging one another. Why even eat lunch together? Or watch the same show…?

But it's a common sight, right? People walking around with their faces buried in screens (oh. Cell-phone etiquette tip #2: Don't walk and text. Seriously. It's a bit dangerous. Just youtube “walking and texting” and you'll see how it can be hazardous. Improv Everywhere even made a video about this epidemic:

I mean, it seems like we give someone about 2 minutes (at best) to intrigue us, or back to our phones we go.

Technology is supposed to make our lives easier. But instead, many of us find ourselves prisoners to the screens that dominate our lives.

At the end of the day, who's controlling who?

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Sticks and stones may break my bones (Photo credit: Joe Doe 2010)

(all together, now)
words will never hurt me.

One of the many lies of childhood. (Tooth Fairy? Santa Claus? Your face will get stuck like that?)
Well, actually, I really believed it growing up. I had to. Kids made fun of me so much, this phrase made me believe that I could be like rubber and “boing flip” words they said to me.

I think the phrase might be a ‘lil more accurate if the saying went something like,
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will have such a lasting effect that I may have to go see a counselor for the rest of my life. Thanks.”

I’m a clutz. I hit my head, shins, knees, toes anywhere and everywhere. It hurts when it happens. But the pain and memory of it eventually fades. (And I never learn, because I still hit my shin and knee on the same coffee table that we’ve had for years).

But, words? — man. We can recall the horrible things people have said to us decades ago, can’t we?

I remember talking to an elderly gentlemen who still could recall, with vivid memory, how when he was in the 6th grade, kids would call him “droopy pants” because his family couldn’t afford pants that fit him right. Over 6 decades later, he still remembered how those words made him feel.

I recently decided to revisit Luke’s Gospel for my devotions.
I’m sure I’ve noticed this before, but I didn’t really pay attention to it until this time around.

In the first half of Luke (that’s how far I got in my devotional readings, so far), most of Jesus’ healing miracles (if not all) are done by Jesus speaking to the person. More than touching the person to heal, he spoke to them.
Like the paralyzed man who was brought by his friends.
Like Simon’s mother in-law where Jesus “spoke harshly” to the fever she had.
Like the demons, in the story following Simon’s mother in-law, where Jesus also “spoke harshly” to the demons.
And so many more…

Not to mention, God spoke the universe in existence.

Which reminded me, once more that
Our words (also) have power.
Our words can build, restore, affirm, heal.
Our words can give life.

But our words can also destroy.
Our words can mar the image of God in a person.
Our words can snuff the light out of someone’s soul.

In the immortal and wise words of Uncle Ben, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

The problem may lie in the fact that many of us (myself, strongly included) may not think (or remember) that our words have such great power.

Or that adding, “… just saying” absolves anything horrible that was uttered before that two-word phrase.

Scars of the heart and soul don’t mend and heal as easily as broken bones caused by sticks and stones. Or attempting to jump over a friends car, and miserably failing. (Thankfully, the biggest injury was to my ego — not only was I embarrassed, I had lost the bet that I could jump over the hood of his car.)

May we be mindful of our words and use them not to belittle, deny, and destroy, but use them to uplift, to build and to give life.

In the meantime, see if you can spot these things:
coffee
Africa
coffeemate creamer
guitar tuner
JIF to Go Peanut Butter
Matches
An Old Cell Phone

And yes, those are Superman capes that are hanging on my wall. 

Sure, it’s a bit dramatic. And perhaps overly generalizing.
But there is truth in that sentence.

Churches spend a great deal of time and effort in creating a meaningful worship experience. Pastors spend countless hours crafting and preparing a sermon. The choir director spends hours preparing what songs would fit into the worship service. The organist spends hours of practicing. The choir members give their time to make sure practice can get as close to perfect as possible.
And the youth are sitting in the church sitting through all this bored out of their minds, thinking they can’t wait until they can get out of here and/or can’t wait until they get to college so that they’re not dragged along on Sunday mornings.

That was something else Andy Stanley said in the same session. But, I also lived it. I was part of a church where the youth group absolutely hated to go into worship because they didn’t want to sit through “funeral music.”
I was part of a church where youth ministry wasn’t as important in practice as it was spoken. They just wanted to keep the kids out of the adults way. The adults would barge in the middle of youth worship, just so that they can set up for lunch. And they would view our worship as an inconvenience to their setting up for lunch. Feeding the adults were more important than the feeding of the souls of youth through Word and Worship. Yea, the youth ministry was really important to them…

There are countless of places this conversation can go. Worship style. Preference vs. Purpose. What is being relevant?

But, what I want to ask today is have we tried all that we can; exhausted all the possible options we can come up with to make worship relevant to this generation, all the while maintaining our identity in Christ? Or, do we dig our heels into the ground and say, “This is what we’ve done for years, and what we prefer” and threaten to leave the church if it’s no longer the church that we have become accustomed to?

Summarizing his final point, when young people decide to leave the church, it should be because of a personal choice they made through experiences and personal revelation.
They shouldn’t leave their because the local church chose to invest all their resources in keeping yesterday’s generation of Christians happy and pleased.

What do you think?

Breathe (Photo credit: sausyn)

As I am praying and preparing for the next ministry opportunity here at St. Mark UMC, this entry in my personal journal from about two weeks ago served as a good reminder.

Time is not running out.

Breathe.

Don’t focus on the results, instead focus on the journey that you are on. Pay attention to the wonderful things that is happening to you and all of us on the journey. Because, you can’t control the outcome. You can’t predict the results. You can’t really force your goals to be met.

All you can do is do your best following the path God has us on.

So, be faithful and diligent in leading the people to God’s vision. Not yours. Never yours.

All the while, fully and wholly trust in God.
And when you take things to prayer, have the courage and faith to pray, “God, may your will be done, not mine.”

If we seek God and God’s Kingdom first and foremost, everything else will fall into place. Be prepared to understand that that may mean things will end up in a way that you did not expect. But live in the knowledge and trust that God knows infinitely more than you do. Because you’re not God.

Be strong. Be courageous. Be bold!

Be faithful. And be in prayer.

God is with me. God is for me.

God is with us. God is for us!

Breathe and enjoy the journey God has us on!

There is no way that was an accident. I’ve tried to see how it may have “accidentally” flew from the screen door handle to where you see it now. You can’t. And it was highly annoying to try to fish it out. Then to turn around and see that there’s another one of the same flyer on the other door.

Why the church would do that is beyond me. And they expect me to come to the church after that?

This Sunday, we begin a new sermon series: Jacob’s Ladder: Surely the LORD was in this place & I did not know it!

We’re going to be spending 5 weeks on the same passage (Genesis 28:10-18), but really focus on verse 16: “Surely the Lord was in this place and I did not know it!” based on Lawrence Kushner’s book, God was in this Place & I, i did not know. 

Quite a few times, people have come up to me after church and say things like, “Boy, God was really here today!” (And I know I’m not the only pastor/church leader that gets that). Those thoughts always gets me thinking… Does that imply that God hasn’t been there the other times?
But those kind of thoughts happen outside of the church, too.

One day, after a long (long) hike, when I got to the top, I saw the beautiful surrounding site and I caught myself saying, “Wow. God’s really here at the top of this mountain!” Which made me pause and ask myself, “Wasn’t God with me on my hike up?”

So, for the next 5 weeks, we’ll be talking about what Jacob might’ve experienced that kept him from realizing God was in this place before he fell asleep and had his dream, and how we, as today’s readers of Jacob’s story, can learn from his experience and story. 

What is it that keeps us from being aware of God’s presence everywhere we go?

If you can’t join us at St. Mark on Sunday mornings in beautiful Santa Barbara, I invite you to come listen to us online on our website!

I like Jon Acuff. I think he’s funny. I wish I had his sense of humor.

He’s also the one that came up with one of my favorite Christian phrases: The Jesus Juke which I use often.

I thoroughly enjoyed his Stuff Christians Like and thought it was hilarious, though a few people very close to me didn’t think so. But I tell them, often, that they don’t have a good sense of humor.

He’s coming out with a new book in a couple of weeks called Start. And they were offering a whole bunch of things if you pre-ordered his book. As I was pre-ordering his book, I remembered he was offering something when he released his second book, Gazelles, Baby Steps and 37 Other Things Dave Ramsey Taught Me About Debt: he would take a look at your blog and give you tips, insights, and suggestions.

Well, I did pre-order that book but he never took a gander at this blog. It was no biggie. I honestly had forgotten about it until I was preordering Start.

So, I just tweeted him basically saying, “Hey you never reviewed my blog after I preordered Gazelles” thinking that he’d never see or get that tweet.

Wrong. He responded back immediately and then DM’ed (direct message) me asking for my email address. Immediately, I felt guilty and bad because I realized I basically called him out. But in our short exchange of emails, he was very kind and gracious and gave me these tips:

1. Be careful about the length of your posts. 5 years ago people would accept 800 word long posts but now with twitter and pinterest, the length needs to be shorter. Your last post was over 1,000 words. Shorten them.

2. Think about breaking longer posts into multiple posts. Do a series instead of one long post

3. Figure out a consistent posting schedule. I couldn’t figure out how often you post.

4. Cut your disclaimer in half. I think you can just say, “My thoughts don’t represent …”

5. Help me as a reader know what topics you are going to focus on. Maybe make that clearer in your subhead.

Great tips.
I already took care of #4 and #5. My subhead now reads “Thoughts on Life and Faith and everything in between, like Batman.” That’s a bit more clearer on what this blog is about than the previous one “Loving God and making my mistakes look gracious,” which the second part were lyrics from a Jason Mraz song.

The first tip — keep it short, I think is helpful (or if I know it’s going to run long, do a series) because there have been times where the post just keep going and going and going and I have no idea how to end it. Then I get discouraged, and I store it as a draft to revisit them later. (I have over 10 drafts sitting and waiting to be revisited…)

On the same line of thinking, I once thought preaching for 40-45 minutes was great. Gave me plenty of time to address everything I wanted to. Nowadays, I really enjoy preaching for 20-25 minutes. It makes preparation easier and I think it makes listening easier. I realized the extra 20 minutes in a 40 minute sermon were used for fillers, transitions, and/or various illustrations. I could still get the heart of the message out in 20-25 minutes without the extra stories.

I think shorter posts will also help keep this blog updated in a consistent manner, which brings us to tip #3.

I also don’t know my own posting schedule. I tried to aim for every Wednesday, but that doesn’t really work out for various reasons. I forget; I didn’t know how to end the post, so I store it as a draft; and other various reasons/excuses. I also aimed for two post a week, but that didn’t work out either. But I’m working on it. Having a consistent posting schedule, I believe, will help me stay on track, focused, and disciplined on something I really like doing.

Anyway, I’m grateful for Jon’s tips (and still a bit apologetic for my tweet). This blog gives me joy and an outlet to share my thoughts (though at the end of the day, that’s a bit egotistical. But, so am I, I guess) and so I do want it to be the best that I can make it.

So thanks, Mr. Jon Acuff for your help. And as always, thanks for reading.