I never got to know Dan that well and never really had that many conversations with him when we were both at KUMCGW.
But over the years, I’ve “stalked” him online and reading his words, thoughts and his story through his blog.

His words, as a young Korean-American, has hit home many times. Whether he knows it or not, he often expresses the sentiment that I see in young people of faith that I’ve run into on the other side of the country.
His frustrations with church has been eye (and heart) opening for me. I wish I had gotten to know him better when we both physically in NOVA. But I’ve been getting to know him more  through his blog.

I hope that you can take a little time to stop by and read his story on his website and organization that went live this past week at www.cheekswab.org.

His story is inspirational, and I know that God is using him to change and save many people’s lives.

Sometimes, I sit back and wish I can do something to change the world or make the world a better place. While I still dream and vision, Dan has gone and done something. I hope to follow his lead.

Please take a minute and read his story and check out his site and see how you can help carry this young man’s story and dream into your own world.

www.cheekswab.org

Image by Rain Rabbit via Flickr

Yesterday, I sent this email to thinkgeek.com.
Now, I sent it thinking that it was just for fun, that they wouldn’t really do anything about it, and I was left with this broken bag.

But today, I got this response from RJ:

Hello,
That was quite a read! I didn’t mind though! It was most amusing and yes, the shades of pink on your pencil holder really are…well…pink. I applaud you for being comfortable carrying that around!

If it were me, I might possibly accidentally-on-purpose lose the pencil holder.
I have gone ahead and set up a replacement to be shipped to you. No need to return the defective bag you have, you can simply toss it if you wish.
Your replacement order ID is ___. You will be sent a new tracking number once it has left the warehouse.
Here’s to a less um, sweaty 5-7 minute walk to Starbucks.
If you have any questions, please let me know.

 

I am completely psyched (do we still use that word?) and excited!
I like to think that it was my email that persuaded them.. but it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad that I get a new bag.

Whatever the response would’ve been, thinkgeek.com has always been one of my favorite places to go buy things and their customer service has always been great. They definitely wouldn’t have lost my business if they told me that I couldn’t get a replacement.

But, they were really gracious, and I’m really grateful.
Yay. I’m stoked! (do we still use that word?)

long story short: my wife bought me this bag for like my 30th birthday. it broke once, they sent me a new one. the same problem occurred with the replacement, and this time, they said there wasn’t much they could do about it. I actually really do like this product, so without any hope of a resolution that favors me, I sent the following email, hoping for the best.

Dear RJ,
I’ve been meaning to get back to you. This is regarding the Bag of Holding, which I want to restate, I absolutely heart.
It’s perfect for me to carry around my macbook, iPad and some Christian/church stuff that I need when I go to my real office (read: Starbucks). It also allows ample room to carry around my headphones and this awesome pencil case that my wife lets me use. (picture attached). I’ve grown to love it. Yes, I know it’s various shades of pink. And yes, if you can tell, that’s a butterfly at the end of the pencil case. You can’t get anymore Korean than that. I’m comfortable in my masculinity to carry around such a case. But I digress.

After our last exchange of emails, which were in September, to be honest, I was left unhappy. I was stuck with a bag that I couldn’t use and the only help that I got was “go check out this youtube video.”
I told myself, eventually, I will go and check that out.
Btw, I feel like this might become a story. I apologize in advance of wasting your precious time.

But, the Fall hit. Then Thanksgiving. And if you may not know, Thanksgiving to Christmas time is a crazy, crazy time for us pastors. I don’t know, I guess something that has to do with the Savior being born, blah blah blah. (I kid… I don’t want to be struck by lightening… if God’s into that stuff… which at this point, you may be asking… “aren’t you a pastor? shouldn’t you know?” Well, I don’t. And don’t listen to people who claim they do.)

So, things got so busy, I wasn’t able to quickly act upon your suggestion from our last exchange of emails.
I did, however, since I needed something transport the load of crap (er… and my Bible and God stuff…) from home to office to my other office (Starbucks) dig up an old backpack to serve as a transitional bag. It’s a Dakine bag that a bunch of whiney, sweaty, smelly and entitled teenagers got for me for my birthday in 2007. They were my former youth kids, and despite how I just described them, I love them deeply. Well, sort of. Most of them. Some of them. No, no all of them. I love all of them. Yes.

So for 3-4 months, I’ve lugged things around in that backpack. Now, I don’t know if you can tell by my picture, if you looked at it… I’m actually 31 years old. But… I look like I’m 17. Carrying that Dakine backpack… which is your traditional, two straps over both shoulders type of backpack… people begin to think that I was a student. I don’t mind looking young, but I don’t want to get carded for wanting to watch a rated-R movie or get hassled when (very once in a while) I want to just hangout with my wife with perhaps an adult beverage (read: root beer for some). It also begin to bug my wife a bit, because they would card me and not her… I reassured her that since they saw my ID and saw that I was 31, they may figured she was around my age… I don’t think she quite bought it.

The other side to that is, my father recently suggested that I go buy a “grownup” briefcase, because I’m 31 years old. So, my wife and I went around shopping for a grownup’s briefcase. Like a leather messenger bag. We found one that we both liked… I think it was made by Kenneth Cole… two problems. 1) it was expensive. I mean, it was cheaper than the other bags… but I couldn’t just justify spending $120 on a bag. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but pastors usually don’t make bank. Unless they’re stealing from the church or written a New York Times Bestseller. I have done neither. Yet.

2) It was just a too big of a step. Yes, I don’t want to look like I’m in high school or a recent high school graduate, but committing to a leather briefcase made me feel like I’d have to start actually acting my age. Or looking my age. Which means no more wearing a bunch of t-shirts that my wife got from thinkgeek. Or reading graphic novels in public. Or admitting to anyone that I still occasionally watch Monday Night Raw. Oh, who am I kidding? I try to catch it every week… Did you know that Chris Jericho’s back? Oh. You don’t know who that is? Neither do I…

So for the past 3 months, I’ve been carrying around my books and equipment in the Dakine backpack that my lovely former youth students got me. I don’t think I’m much of a sweater, but I often walk from church office to Starbucks (which is a 5-7 minute walk) but at the end of the walks, I’d have this sweat spot from the backpack. It can be rather embarrassing.

Needless to say, I ashamedly miss your product.
So the other day, I brought it out and went to the youtube site that you sent me on how to fix the zippers. The youtube link that you gave me did not necessarily pertain to my situation. The zipper on my bag has not fallen off nor has it been damaged. So, I youtubed other various videos on zippers. (You can find anything on youtube…). I spent an hour trying to fix that zipper. An hour. RJ, like you, I’m a busy man. Okay, fine. I’m more of a “look busy so no one bothers you” type of man.

But the end result of the research is that I have a Bag of Holding that still has a non-functioning zipper.
And, now I’m truly at a lost.
I love the bag, especially that it can hold stuff. And lots of it.

More importantly, it’s a gift that was given to me, not by just anyone, but by my wife. And everything my wife gives me, I hold dear, as evidenced by the pink, butterfly pencil case I take with me everywhere. Having stuff she gives me accompany me everywhere I go is, in a sense, a way for her presence to be with me everywhere I am. Or more importantly, a reminder to behave and not embarrass her.

Anyway, RJ, I shared with you in the last email that I know I’m way past your return policy. I’m sending you this email as a desperate hail mary heave. “What can hurt by asking?” my wife always says. Well, for starters, my pride when people like you end up rejecting me and my requests.

But in all seriousness, I hope that something can be done. I do love your Bag of Holding and all of the products that people get me. Your catalogs serve as a great bathroom reader. (TMI? My bad…)

I’ll be waiting for your response.
Sorry that this email got a little long. Thanks for your time, RJ, sincerely.
I hope to hear from you soon!

Image via Wikipedia

I’m currently reading David Kinnamin’s You Lost Me. He writes about how the 3rd generation is no longer aware the language, values and culture of the first generation.

My parents are First Generation Koreans, or Immigrant Koreans. While, technically, I’m Generation 1.5 (because I was born in Korea and moved to ‘Merica! when I was young), I consider myself a 1.8(ish) Generation. For my definition of 1.5ers, someone would have to be born in Korea and lived a significant part of their formative years in Korea, then move to America. That way you have a good understanding of the Korean culture (and Korean education) and a grasp of the American culture as you get immersed and grow in it.

I moved to America when I was 6. I barely knew how to read Korean and my Korean education level is that of a Kindergartener. Therefore, I can’t say that I’m a pure 1.5er.

My brother is a 2nd Generation Korean. He was born in South Carolina.
When God finally heeds my fervent prayer and blesses us with a child, that child will be the 3rd Generation.

My parents would probably consider themselves Korean or at best (..worst..?), Korean-American. They are through and through Korean. Their worldview is still based in the Korea of the 70′s and 80′s. Sure, they have adapted to some of the “American” ideals and culture. But push come to shove, they’re more Korean than American.

Me, I consider myself American-Korean. I lived in America for the most part of my life. But there’s a distinct Korean-ness in me (My body does still crave Korean food if I go without for a long time…). Some of my values are grounded in the Korean culture I received from my parents. But most of my values, thoughts, ideas and dreams are formed by the American culture (that I received from MTV).
For (a broad and general) instance, just because you’re older than me, doesn’t mean that I  automatically have to respect you. Respect needs to be earned (regardless of someone’s age or position). That’s more American than Korean, I think. (Or, I’m just a punk.)

My language of preference is American… er English. In fact, my Korean is getting worse and worse. If it weren’t for my parents, I think my Korean would be all but gone. I notice that I’m stammering more when I speak to my parents. I see that the words are harder to say and find… but, listening to Korean, I have no problem. I can translate from Korean to English, but for the life of me, English to Korean is next to impossible.

And that’s my worry. I believe that cultural identity is heavily wrapped in language. My wife and I communicate to each other in English. The only time we use Korean to one another is when we need to say something (usually something bad) without anyone understanding a word that we say.
When we have kids, outside of a few Korean words and phrases, our kids most likely will be English speaking. Their worldview and values will be completely shaped and formed by the American culture (and yes, I’m a bit scared).
They’ll be American-American. They’ll just look Korean, but may not be a trace of the Korean culture and essence in their identities.
They may find Kimchi repulsive. They may have no interest in who Kim Sejong is or the significance of August 15 would be outside of history lessons. While many of my 1.5 and 2nd Generation Koreans went through a Korean Pride phase in our lives… this may completely be lost on the 3rd Generation of Koreans. They’ll just be Korean by physically, but American in everything else.

Where am I going with this?
I can’t help but relate this to Church (well, because of David Kinnamin).
While I can touch on many aspects of Church, today for the sake of this post, I’m going to just focus on worship.

(And these are generalization, I know. Bear with me.)
The “First Generation” of church leaders like the highly liturgical worship services. They feel the presence of God through liturgy, organ, robes, choral music… they prefer what we would call the “traditional” worship services.

My generation of pastors, “the 2nd Generation” have been a part of both traditional worship services and contemporary worship services. As formal as being robed up on Sunday mornings to as casual as having devotions around a camp fire. And we value both experiences deeply. We’ve been part of and designed worship services that are liturgical and formal but also worship services that have the beating drums and a driving bass line.
I know many of my fellow “2nd Gen’ers” who prefer the highly liturgical worship over the contemporary, and just as many (myself included) who prefer the drums, bass guitar, electric guitar, acoustic guitar and a bunch of hipster Christians leading worship. They can go either way.

In the summer of 2011, our church hosted an intern. I wish we had chosen better, because this intern was just… boring and ineffective… I’m kidding. I had a blast spending the entire summer with Dae. He did a fantastic job and I knew he would. He was my youth kid when I was a youth pastor in Hawaii. (In fact, I think he’s a great writer too. Go visit his blog and “pressure” him to regularly update it.)
Dae has a strong sense of calling in ministry. You meet Dae, and you can see and hear his passion for God and God’s people. He’s called into ministry. Dae is, what… 20 years old?
He had never (read: never) been in a traditional worship setting until he interned at our church. (And our first service isn’t “traditional” traditional, either).
He shared how it was different from all the things he’d experienced in his church lifetime.
“It was good. But different. Weird. But not in a bad way.”

There are other kids I worked with who are now exploring their call into ministry.
And all these kids have never truly experienced a traditional worship. And they’re definitely not accustomed to “Open your hymnals to…”
In fact, they’re more the Hillsong United generation than the Hillsong generation. Even more, in fact, Dae the Intern doesn’t even like David Crowder (!!!!!) and prefers Jesus Culture and The United Pursuit Band. (It’s David Crowder, bro… and don’t get me started on your thoughts of the Dark Knight…)

So, David Kinnamin writes:

The first generation speaks only the language of the country of origin. The second generation is fluent in both languages. The third generation speaks only the new language and has little esteem for the cultural traditions that have been lost in translation.

When I was between the age of 12-14, my dad had the opportunity to move back to Korea. He thought long and hard about it, until he realized that it would totally mess me up. He felt it would be different to move to America from Korea at that age, but not the other way around. He was worried not just about all the language difference, but also just the life of being a Korean teenager and the culture shock I may receive from it. He worried that things would be so different, that it would stunt my mental maturation. (Thanks for giving so much credit…)
Basically, I was too Americanized to ever feel comfortable or be productive in Korea. I’m thankful that I didn’t have to move back to Korea. Though I can’t put into words why, I do agree with my dad that I wouldn’t have fared well in Korea.

But, that’s what I feel that we may be guilty of doing to these upcoming young pastors.
Whether intentionally or unintentionally, we may have monopolized the idea of worship; that it has to happen a certain way and during certain times.

We have these young, gifted, God-called people stepping into ministry and instead of thriving in a world where they can make a difference, where they can be fully utilized by God, they end up struggling to find a place (and meaning) in a world that doesn’t exist outside the walls of the local church.

As Kinnamin wrote, these upcoming pastors may have little to no esteem for the traditions that is strongly held by the “first generation” church leaders.
Yet, we try and fight to get these “3rd generation” pastors to accept and uphold the model and values of the “first generation” church.
So these young people become disenchanted with bureaucracy and the seemingly inflexible polity of a denomination and find other ways to be utilized by God.

Tradition is good.
Tradition is important.
But tradition is man-made and not of God.
Once tradition gets in the way God, it’s no longer holy and we end up fighting against the movement of the Holy Spirit.

I know time will come when I realize that the young kids are messing everything up and confusing what is holy and what is not; what is worship and what is not; what is church and what is not.

But hopefully, I’ll remember how I feel now 20 or so years later.
Instead of trying to fiercely hold onto what I knew and loved, essentially forcing them into a box, I hope that God will use me to help them to articulate their vision and help them chase their dreams and visions that God placed in their hearts, instead of forcing my dreams and visions on them.

Of course, only time (and God) will tell what kind of mentor I will be when I live in a world with flying cars, self drying apparel and self tying shoes. 

And let me just say, I’m thankful for the mentors that I have now who give me freedom to explore my call and help me chase God’s dream for me. I only hope to be given a chance to return the favor to the next generation.

It also helps continue thoughts that I couldn’t share in a sermon because it would take too much time and focus away from the heart of the message.

And well, honestly, it’s nice to have a soap box to stand on, even if no one’s around to hear the opinions coming from the one standing on this soap box. It’s just nice to know there is one.

And it’s been an interesting journey for me, blogging. I’ve had many since my college days, starting with Xanga. Then I moved on to blogspot and started many different types of blogs (the best one being a bit exaggerated sagas of my personal life). Then in 2006, I started this one, with the intent that it was going to reflect who I am as a person, a child of God and as a pastor.

Over the years, I’ve had some decent post, but mostly some hodgepodge of thoughts that were okay at best.
I’ve had interesting comments made by people, some that I had to delete. One person called me out on my “inappropriate” language on this blog, especially since I’m a pastor, to which I simply replied, “uh… you don’t have to read my blog…”

Overall, I really enjoy blogging. And yea, maybe it often serves as a small ego boost here and there.
I wish I could provide solid content without the grammatical errors that drive my wife (and perhaps you) crazy mad. Meh, I’d be content with solid content.

However, since a very young age, at the suggestion (read: command) of my parents, I kept a journal.
The early entries started out with, “Today was a bad day. Mom made me clean my room. I just want to play outside. She’s Mom, why can’t she clean my room? I have better things to do. If she wants it clean, I think she should clean instead of making me. I’m happy with the way my room is.” and (thankfully) the entries got deeper as I matured.

Oh, I also once discovered that my parents were reading my journal, so I kept a dummy journal out in the open, but kept the real journal hidden where I could write things like what I just shared with you without the fear of repercussions.

Whereas the blog may be where I share intellectual thoughts, the journal is where I pour my soul into. It’s filled with joy, anger, praise, worry, anxiety, discontent, unhappiness, frustration, complaints, hopes, fears, mundane thoughts and descriptions…
I write about my day, where I am spiritually, where I’m lacking, where I need to start lacking…
I complain about things and people in church, and yes, I use real names so that years from now I can still hold a grudge against you. (Kidding.) If someone were to obtain this, I think it could jeopardize my job at the Church (that’s right, not just my local church but the Church church).

I like going back and reading my entries.
At times I’m thoroughly embarrassed of my reactions and interpretations of certain events. Being years removed and able to see what I wrote without highly charged emotions, I can say “Yea… I totally overreacted.”

At times, I’m (and please hear [er... read] me without thinking I’m arrogant) rather pleased with myself with how I handled a situation or interpreted certain actions of people and say, “Yea… I’d handle it the same way today.”

There are times where I see that I’ve come a long way and other times where I realized I haven’t changed at all. There are times where I see that certain scars are (surprisingly) still there and I still need to work on healing them. The writing also has served as therapy or as the necessary buffer before responding to someone (given that I have time between events and confrontation). Writing out my honest-to-God feelings and emotions help me (most of the times) to get most of the strong emotions out of the way and approach the situation with a cooler head.

I think every pastor, nay every person, should keep a daily journal.
For me, keeping a journal has helped me mature and grow. It has helped me to get to know myself a little bit more, as strange as that may sound.
It’s good to know how I handled past situations to help me deal with current situations. It’s rewarding to see how I have grown and eye-opening to see where I still need to work on. And it’s fun to see my past-self from the eyes of my current-self.

Now, if anyone were to find my journal… I think I’d be in trouble…

Image via Wikipedia

So I bought Louis CK’s Live at the Beacon for $5 on his website. 
I love standup comedy. I learn a lot about preaching and story telling from watching standup comedians. Some people complain that sermons are too long and boring, but those very same people probably would watch an hour of a good standup comedy routine. I love how comedians engage their audience with their words and stories and how the comedian has the entire audience accompany him/her to go on this journey of words and story telling.
I remember when I finally accepted my call into ministry and realized I’d have to preach regularly, I went out and rented all of my favorite standup comedians like Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen DeGeneres, Robin Williams, Dave Chappelle, George Carlin, Mitch Hedberg… any many more to study them, to see their interaction with the crowd and other stuff.

Sermons never have to be dry and boring, after all, sermons are also just story telling, but we are telling the greatest story ever…
But that’s not the point of this post. I really liked the show and really like Louis CK.

At one point of his routine, he talks about how he has a lot of beliefs but lives by none of them. He just likes having them and making himself feel good about having them, just as long as they don’t get in the way of his life or interfere with what he wants to do.

That brought me back to my first official appointment as a UMC pastor. I gave my first “adult” sermon (meaning, it was preached to adults) and it was nothing dramatic or drastic or challenging. The basis of the message was, instead of having Jesus follow our beliefs and lifestyle, we should change our lives so that we are following Jesus.
Then the service ended and I was standing in the meet’n'greet line and watch Pastor Joe awkwardly say hello to everyone, when a man came up to me (and I never saw him after that Sunday) and said, “That was a great message! Lots of good things there! But, you know, there’s no way I’m living my life like that! But thanks for sharing.”

I’m sure I looked confused, because I didn’t know how to react. Uhh.. thanks…? I thought about that comment that entire day, and 3 years later, I’m still thinking about that comment. “There’s no way I’m living my life like that…”

A lot more people than we think believe in God. Or a god. A higher deity that may or may not be YHWH.

But believing in God is the easiest of steps to take in the long journey of faith.
Okay, well, maybe not the easiest… but belief allows room for no action. It allows room for freedom. Not the freedom God gives, but the freedom in the line of what Louis CK said, I’ll believe as long as it doesn’t get in the way of what I want to do.

Believing in God and following Christ (or being a Christian) to me are different things. Belief is the first step, and not the only step in being a Christian.

Our words can dictate our belief in God, but our actions can deny God’s existence.

Being a Christian isn’t just about believing in God, but it also involves living a God-honoring life.
Being a Christian isn’t all about how many Bible verses we have memorized and the knowledge we accumulated from Bible studies and sermons. It’s also about living out those Holy Words that we study and memorize.

Being a Christian isn’t just about believing in Jesus.
It’s also about doing our best to emulate and embody the very things Jesus lived and died (and was resurrected) for.

Besides, more than ever, I am at peace with whatever the outcome of my ordination process will be this year. I’m not too anxious about anything. And whether good or bad, my attitude is, if it happens, praise be to God. If it doesn’t, praise be to God.

So, with that said, I think it’s time for a hair cut, because I think I look a bit ridiculous.

WHAT I THINK I LOOK LIKE WITH LONG HAIR:
WHAT I ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE WITH LONG HAIR:

 ….yea….

I know this may not be the wisest thing to say at this time, but let me vent. Just a little, please.

The truth is, no matter how objective the BOOM (Board of Ordained Ministry in the United Methodist Church) wants to be, it’s really difficult to take out your personal bias or preference while reading a candidate’s paper or interviewing a candidate. (Just like with anything in life. It’s hard for us to be completely objective). And I’d be completely okay with that, if they admit it. But that’s a different story.

Worship, apparently seems to be a sticking point with me and the BOOM. Both years that I applied for full membership, they had something to say about the worship service I recorded. They had some valid points about the theology of worship, but they seem to have  a bigger concern with the kind of worship that was taking place.

2009, my papers did not pass. I was invited to have a “conversation” with a couple of BOOM members about the papers. When we got to the worship paper, the person who read my paper and watch the recorded worship service said, “You know, I think you’re too casual in your worship.”
I asked him to clarify.
“Well, by looking at your tape, I see a lot of white hairs in the congregation. But you’re talking very casual. You’re dressed casual. And it’s not matching up with the your congregation. I think, with the age of your congregation, you should be more formal in your language and your dress. Why not wear a suit? Or a robe?”
What that had to do with worship was beyond me. I explained to him that when I first got to that setting, I did wear a suit and tie every Sunday. It wasn’t until the church members started “complaining” that I was too formal. The congregation, along with the senior pastor, suggested and urged that I dress like everyone else, a bit more casual. (When I moved from that church, they gave me a stole made out of denim so that I can still feel casual when ever I have to robe up).
And I asked him, “Isn’t a bit presumptuous and unfair that you make such a broad judgement without knowing my congregation or me?”
He blinked a couple of times and said, “But still. Be more formal.”

Last year, during the interviews, one of the interviewers said, “You know, what you guys do at your church… it seems so fluffy…”
That statement reflects preference of worship more than theology of worship, doesn’t it? Or is it just me?

But I remember feeling my blood pressure rise. I had to summon everything that was within me to hold my tongue. In fact, I actually bit my tongue so that I wouldn’t say anything stupid or damning. I already knew that I totally screwed up my previous interview section, so I didn’t want to mess up this interview section.

Here’s what I wanted to say: Does it matter how we worship? Can we dictate how someone should respond to God’s presence and blessing in their lives? If the worship is God centered and focus, if the worshippers heart is coming from the right place, is there really a wrong or right way to worship?

The picture in the beginning of this post is of my youth from Hawaii praying and getting prayed over during a winter retreat.
The video following is a clip from a Korean church’s dawn prayer service, where they are engaging in 통성기도 (tongsong kido).

That’s the kind of prayer life I grew up with. My father is a prayer warrior. My dad took everything to prayer. Late at night, he’d go to church to pray by himself. Early in the morning, he would go to church to pray. Sometimes he would be gone hours at a time. But prayer was not enough. He engaged in fasting. He did 4 40 day fasts in his life. His appearance after 40 days will always be engrained in my mind. His calves were as thick as my forearms. He engaged in many 20 day fasts. If you added all the days my father fasted in his lifetime, it’ll add up to more than 365 days.
That kind of fervor and attitude is prevalent in the Korean Christian culture. Well, maybe not the way my dad fasted. But fasting and fervent prayer is part of our culture as Christians (and something that I miss being part of).

So when someone says “prayer warrior”, whether it’s fair or not, there’s a comparison to the “prayer warriors” I’ve been surrounded by all my life.

People (and a few pastors) have often shared that they don’t have time to pray. So they pray at red lights in traffic.

If I were to say, “That’s not prayer!” It wouldn’t be very pastoral of me. But, I feel that’s what the BOOM has basically said to me in the past two years regarding worship.

Of course, there’s always more we can do. That’s a given. We can always pray more. I can encourage someone to try to find another time of the day to pray on top of the red lights, like while washing dishes. And pray a short prayer first thing in the morning. Say a prayer before you go to bed. Say a prayer while you’re commuting. Offer a short prayer while at work. There’s always something more you can do. And the more you seek God, the more of a priority it becomes in your life. So find every opportunity to be in prayer, and eventually your day will revolve around your prayer time, not the other way around.

Not: you call that prayer? It’s so fluffy.

Who am I to judge how someone connects with God?
Who am I to say to a person who has no idea of how Korean Christians pray, s/he is not engaging in the type of prayer that I call “prayer”?

So, then, who is to say that the type of worship that shaped me, the type of worship that I feel most connected to with God, is “fluffy”?  Or too casual? Or not enough, even?

Why do we, as churches or pastors, try to monopolize worship?
Worship can take place outside of a church building. And it should!
Worship can happen without a choir or an organ. In fact, worship can occur without any music or musicians or choir directors or church music divas.
Worship can happen without robes and stoles.

In fact, what I really wanted to say to the BOOM member at the time was, “Does God care how we worship? Would God really deem the worship as fluff?”

Parents, do you care how your kids express their love and gratitude for you?
Do they have to come dressed in their best clothes, sit firm, still and proper, sing some songs you sang to them when they were kids, and then finally say, “I love you?”
Or does it make your day when they say, “Mom, Dad, you guys are awesome. I love you guys.” as their dressed in their PJs about to the drift off into sleep?

I mean, do we have to recreate our wedding day every time we express our love to our spouses?

In all honesty, I believe that these “worship wars” is more about me and you than it is about God. The style of worship is our preference, not God’s.
In Amos 5, God says:

²¹ “I hate, I despise your religious festivals;
your assemblies are a stench to me.
²² Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them.
Though you bring choice fellowship offerings,
I will have no regard for them.
²³ Away with the noise of your songs!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.
²⁴ But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!

What kind of worship do you think God prefers?
Do you think God’s in the presence of a contemporary worship and saying, “No no no no no! NO NO! DRUMS HAVE NO PLACE IN MY SANCTUARY!!!”

When someone’s saying a quick prayer at red light, do you think God is saying, “No, no, no!!! You’re not talking to me right!”

Maybe, it’ll be more like, “I wish you would talk to me more.”
But I can’t say for sure. But it’s how I like to think God reacts.

I do hope that the BOOM will be able to be more objective, and I believe that they can.
Or at least admit that they come in with certain ideas and expectations for clergy and understand clergy comes in all shapes, sizes, theologies, philosophies and beliefs.
For a denomination that values diversity, I have to say that during the ordination process, being too different from BOOM members’ theology, philosophy and belief is a very, very, very uncomfortable place to be. I found it to be much easier to try to figure out what the BOOM expects of a clergy rather than being the pastor God is calling me to be.

But more importantly, I just hope that we won’t try to keep putting God and connecting and responding to God in a box, as we all are accustom to doing.

I absolutely believe that worshiping God as a church is vital.
I think corporate worship is beautiful and a necessity in our faith journey.
But, I also believe that we can’t limit worship to just corporate worship. God is with us every second of our lives, not just during the time we’re sitting in pews. Worship needs to happen corporately. But worship also needs to happen outside of the walls of the church.

And really… is there a wrong way to connect and respond to God…?