And all the dysfunction in Dallas begins with their loud and proud owner, Mr. Jerry Jones.

This week, it was revealed that Jerry Jones had taken away the play calling responsibilities from head coach, Jason Garrett and gave it to offensive coordinator, Bill Callahan.

This is Garrett's system. His creation. His plays. His players. He knows that system inside and out — he created it! He knows what plays will work in what settings and situations. So, with the play calling responsibility taken from him, what does that leave him with? He's not a defensive minded coach nor does he have that much say in what goes on the defensive side of the ball. He took pride in his abilities to call plays. He has done it for quite a while for the Cowboys, even when he was the offensive coordinator under the, then defensive minded head coach, Wade Philips. (Who, btw, had a miserable tenure as a Cowboys head coach. He had one of the best defenses in the league with the Chargers — pre Jerry Jones — and has one of the best defenses with the Texans — post Jerry Jones. At the beginning of his tenure, the Cowboys had a top 10 defensive team. The latter half of his tenure — and when Jerry got more involved (my opinion) the defensive ranked 28th in the league).

What role does Jason Garrett have, now? An expensive motivational speaker? Isn't he a sitting duck of a coach, now?

In my humble opinion, the biggest problem in Dallas never was its personnel and players. It's always been their meddling; micromanaging; insisting to be on the field with players; insisting to be in the locker room; egotistical owner, Mr. Jerry Jones. Jimmy Johnson's Cowboys could've won a lot more Super Bowls, but Jerry just couldn't stand that Jimmy was getting all the attention.

The head coaches of the Jerry Jones era never had a chance to establish themselves as the leader of the team — because Jerry's always there undermining his coaches (whether he knows he's doing that or not). The players know that Jerry Jones is always going to be there for them — so why listen to a coach trying to discipline you, when you can above him and talk to the owner? In fact, why listen to the coach, at all, when you know that Jerry Jones holds all the authority and power?

It's like why ever listen to Dad, when you know Mom's going to let you do whatever you want?

In ministry setting, pastors and leaders like Jerry Jones are frustrating to work with. You bring people onto the team to do a specific ministry or certain things, and instead of letting you do the work; they're constantly hovering; criticizing; giving input; flat out telling you how to do yor job. And because of the helicoptering and micromanaging, nothing gets done.

It sort of looks like this:

Lucy is the leader/pastor. The football is the responsibility/ministry. And Charlie is the person who thinks they're responsible for a ministry. Does that make sense? No? Oh well…

But guess what? When the person misses the ball/fails, we — as leaders– are going to blame them for their incompetency. Much like how Jerry blames (and fires) the coach for a team that continues to under achieve.

We have to put our egos aside and realize that God has created people who are more talented and smarter than us. And not only is that more than okay, it's a reality. So, instead of being afraid of that, we need to embrace that — and recruit those people to be on our team. One aspect of being humble can be intentionally surrounding yourself with people that will make you the dumbest person in the room.

And when they are on our team, we need to trust them and give them space and a chance to succeed (and fail). Sure, we can guide them and mentor them in the beginning, but that's a whole lot different than hovering and meddling and micromanaging.

Here's my bold prediction: As long as Jerry Jones' ego runs rampant in the Cowboys organization — the Cowboys will never be able to win a Super Bowl. The head coach needs a chance to be just that — a head coach. They need an honest chance to run the team; to discipline the team; to draft the players that will fit into their system. And you can't do that if the owner thinks he knows more football than the coach and tries to be the players's best friend.

Along that note, a ministry team will never flourish if the leader is always meddling and helicoptering over the teammates. People will fail. People will be frustrated. People will burn out. No matter how many cogs of the machine we try to replace — it'll always be destined to fall apart.

Here's to the Cowboys under achieving for the next decade!

Posted with Blogsy

There were some parts of the campus that needed (needs) serious attention. And so the ball got rolling on this capital campaign.
I didn’t know where to begin or what to do, as this is my first appointment as the pastor and not an associate. Also, finances and administration is not a strong suit in the gifts and talents that God has given me. Oh. And I never had to be in the forefront of such a project.

I definitely felt overwhelmed and overmatched with the road that was ahead of us.

And I was worried. About everything and anything.
The money that we had to raise wasn’t a small amount.

What happens if we don’t reach our goal?
What would that say about us? What would that say about me, as their pastor?
Where would we go? How would we bounce back?

Or, worse, what happens if we succeed, and in a perverse way, I somehow take credit for it?
Knowing me, that’s all too much of a possibility. What if I let this go to my head, and my ego becomes even bigger and less tolerable? What if I start thinking too much of myself?

I found myself going to the beach a lot these past few months.
I remember my dad telling me, long ago, that the sound of the waves is the sound of God breathing. (He also once told me, after I had done something, bad that the rain was God’s tears and, since it was raining, I had made God cry.)

Sitting there and listening to the waves and taking in the scenery, I was reminded of what my freshman football coach told the team, after a tough loss to our rival school: “Don’t let failure go to your heart, and don’t let success go to your head.”

(Funnily enough, there are many, many people who stop by the beach and just … ponder, I guess. Most of them never get out of their cars. Instead, they just sit there and stare off into the horizon. One of these days, I hope to find the courage to see what is on their hearts.)

Sitting on rocks (I dislike sand. Like, a lot) listening to the waves, watching the birds fly and fight, watching the people pass by, trying to keep dogs from sniffing on me, I realized that my focus and attention were all on the wrong thing. I was focusing on the numbers and the amount that we had to raise. I guess, it was more than focusing, but obsessing over the numbers.

I could feel God pushing me to look above and beyond that — to focus on God, not the numbers. To focus on the journey, not the end results.
This was something that God placed on our hearts (not just mine) to do.
And because this was something God pushed us to do, God was going to be with us every single step of this journey.
Things will work out one way or the other, because God is with us and for us. And I began to understand and accept that God’s desired result may not look like what I expected and desired.

In the midsts of my prayers and being immersed in God’s grace, I found my burdens turning into wonder.

Abraham Herschel once said, “I didn’t ask for success, I asked for wonder.”
I’m beginning to understand how great of a prayer that really is.

I’m left in wonder and awe of God and God’s people.

The end of this journey marks the beginning of a new and exciting one.
I am excited for the journey God has us on. And am looking forward to sharing this journey with the faith community of St. Mark.
I know that God is with us, for us, and pulling us ahead to a great future, for God is nowhere near done with us.

As we begin on the next chapter of St. Mark and year 2 of my appointment here, I pray, not for success, but for wonder.

Earth from Space (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of us Christians do our best to separate ourselves from the world as much as possible — much like the Essenes of Jesus’ day.

We immerse ourselves in nothing but Christianese culture, listening to nothing but the FISH (safe for the whole family!!); watch nothing but purposefully Christianized programming (yay American Bible Challenge; a bigger YAY for Kirk Cameron!)

We view the world to be so contaminated that we try our best to stay far, far from it.

In a previous post, I mentioned that a part of me admires the resolves of those people to really stick to their guns on what they believe to be a good and faithful Christian life. They’re making sacrifices and diligently trying to live a life that they feel is a good Christian one. They’re anchored by their beliefs, rather than floating and drifting about.

But, the bigger part of me has to question, really, how “biblical” is that approach of life?

Not being part of this world has become (very) profitable. NOTW (Not Of This World) apparel and swag has become one of the bigger sellers of Christianese paraphernalia. I see bumper stickers of NOTW on many cars; people wearing shirts with the NOTW logo.
Although, NOTW makes me think of aliens. Or Superman. But not really Jesus nor Christians. But that’s just me and my love for sci-fi and comics.

We do our best to completely separate ourselves from the world.
But, let’s not forget the favorite verse (or the most well known verse) for many, many Christians: John 3:16 which begins with For God so loved the world… (emphasis mine) 

If God thought of the world as contaminated and dark as we did, would God really send his son?
If God wanted to be separated from the world as much as we do, would God find it necessary to send Jesus? 

I mean, if the world is as dark and as contaminated as we believe (and it is), then what good are we doing for the world God created by pulling ourselves completely away from it?
Was it God’s purpose to send his beloved son to the world that he so loved and have Jesus die on the cross for us so that we may, in turn, respond by completely withdrawing from the world God intended to save and redeem and restore?

How can we be the light of this dark world if we hide ourselves under a bushel?
How can we be the salt to this world if we’re refusing to be spread upon the world?

Yes, Jesus said, “What good is salt if it loses its taste?”
But, also, what good is salt if it’s kept in its shaker away on the kitchen shelf never to interact with food (world)?

If the world is that bad and dark and evil — what are we doing to make it a better place?
If the world is that bad and dark and evil — then why are we taking away the hope and redeeming power of God away from it?
Why are we trying to bottle up all of God’s goodness and keep it to ourselves, away from the world?

I’m not saying or advocating that we become “worldly” and embrace all that is “unholy.”
But, saying and advocating that, instead of withdrawing, we let people know of the life-giving love and grace and hope of Christ. The same love, grace, and hope changed our lives for the better. And continues to change our lives.

And, what good is the Gospel and our message if we just keep trying to save the already saved, because all we hang out with are the saved?

Yes. The world is broken. But, what we can’t do is withdraw ourselves from it and point our fingers on just how screwed up the world is.
I mean, c’mon. Really.
What Would Jesus Do?

We want to secure our place in God’s promise, and be free to indulge in whatever our hearts desire — straddling both sides of the line — world, if you will.

But, I don’t believe that’s how our faith works. Simply by being Christian, our lives are no longer ours to live. Simply by confessing that Christ is Lord, we are saying that our lives belong to Christ and it is not ours. Therefore, we cannot simply do whatever we desire. Our bodies, our lives, our jobs, our salaries — all of it belongs to God.

As Christ said, we can’t have to 2 masters. Our hearts only have room for either God or our idol(s). Never both. So, we are doing a disservice to God and our calling when we try to live the best of both worlds.

Along those lines — something bothers me about the stance that the UMC has taken on a very controversial and hot topic issue of this generation and culture. Maybe THE issue that is defining religious institutions these days. And, I think more than a few predict that a possible split can occur because of this issue. Of course, I’m talking about the issue of homosexuality.

I know that I’m making a very gray issue and making it too simply black and white and that things are more complex and goes deeper than what I’m going to share with you.

And I’m not here to tell you, necessarily, what my beliefs are and what not.
I just feel like we’re trying to have the best of both worlds in our stance towards the gay community.
We believe in open arms, open doors, open hearts or whatever that order is.
We tell the community we are open to you. You are welcomed in our churches! We embrace you! We will walk with you! We will love you! You have always been part of our community!

… But. You can’t be ordained. You can’t be married in our churches. And the pastor who said that s/he’ll walk with you, love you, be in community with you, welcome you with open arms, serve communion to you, can’t marry you without facing charges from the Mothership.

Being excluded sucks.
But being excluded under the premise of being included — sucks even more.
To say you’re part of our family — up to a certain point… how embracing of that person/community are we really? How are they a part of our community — a real integral part — if they don’t have the rights that any other person in that community would have?

A part of me thinks that it would be better off to be completely against the gay community — like many churches are. At least people would know where we stand versus welcoming the gay community with one hand and holding them back with the other.

Recently, Kylie Bisutti was back in the press.
A while back, she made a small splash when she said that she was going to quit being a Victoria Secret model due to her faith.
She’s back in the news because she’s now coming out with a new book, I’m No Angel. (Victoria  Secret has come out and said that Kylie was never a Victoria Secret Angel and that a lot of her stories are fabricated. She won an online model competition held by VS and that was the only association that VS claims to have had with Kylie).

Kylie said that more than being a lingerie model, she felt the need to be a Proverbs 31 wife. I’ve heard that phrase, or title, quite often recently and I was a bit embarrassed that I didn’t know what they meant when they said Proverbs 31 wife. So I looked it up and saw that there was a section called “The Competent Wife” (Common English Bible). Funnily enough, there isn’t a proverb section called “The Competent Husband.” But maybe you don’t need to be a competent husband when you have 700 wives and 300 concubines. Or  if you’re the one writing the Proverbs, or something.

When I first heard this story — before she was coming out with the book and made national headlines — I have to admit, my initial reaction was an eye-roll. Like c’mon. Stop trying to be all holier-than-thou when this was the career that you were pursuing. Or just quit, without letting the world know.

But now, I commend her for standing up for who she believes she is. For not bending her morals for a paycheck.

Which made me entertain the idea that I have a rather divided self.
There’s the Christian/Pastor side of me. Then there’s Me. The crazy thing is I almost typed “the Real Me.” Which is just mind bogglingly boggling. (That reminds me. One of my first blogs was called Mind Bloggling. I thought I was so clever…)

I always thought it was naive for Christians to question the type of media that I (and other Christians) would engage in.
I’d roll my eyes or scoff when Christians would question my reading certain books (like Harry Potter… oooh wizardly magic) or listen to certain type of music (recently, someone in my office saw a book of poems by Tupac Shakur. They asked who that was, and I just responded, “It’s a modern theologian and poet” and left it at that) or watching certain movies and TV shows.

While I judge them to be super naive — I have to say that I admire their resolve to not compromise their beliefs. That they feel so strongly about God and faith that they are willing to put aside the immense popularity of a British boy who discovers he is a wizard.
But while I judge you, I ask that you won’t judge my indulgences. (Ha.)

Paul writes, twice, in 1 Corinthians, “Everything is permitted, but everything isn’t beneficial. Everything is permitted, but everything doesn’t build others up.”

Yea, I have the right to do everything and anything I want to — it’s a free country as they say.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is beneficial. And not everything doesn’t build up others. Nor does it build me up.

Over the past few years, my theology has grown and, yes, evolved.
I think that’s great. And necessary in my journey.
But — I also noticed that there is a shift in thought of how I approach faithful living. I’ve become more laxed in my approach to faith and spirituality. Does it have to do with my growth in theology? I don’t know. I don’t think so. But, it’s almost like, because I know more, I do less. 

When I went back to Hawaii recently, I got to see the things that my former youth kids were doing in their faith journey. Their dedication to spiritual disciplines. Early morning prayers every Saturday. Prayer meetings. “Rogue” Bible study meetings. (Where they just get together for bible study — but not really part of the “official” church ministry. My definition) And these were kids.

I got to see the things that my brother’s church were doing, in regards to their spiritual growth and formation.
While I may not completely agree with their approach — that almost makes me feel like they’re isolating themselves from the world — there’s something that feels right about their pursuit of spiritual disciplines and moral inflexibility. Something I sort of lack.

And I don’t like where this road that I’m currently on may be leading. 

When I was struggling with this, I ran across this blog post by Dan Dick (an excerpt from that post):

In a third setting, I advised the Trustees, Staff Parish Relations Committee, Church Council and Lay Leader join the pastor in a solid month of daily prayer and reflection on God’s will for the congregation.  I received a phone call the next morning from the pastor who told me, “You really blew your credibility with my key leaders last night.  We called you for your expertise in planning and you offered a bunch of fluffy hocus-pocus instead of practical ideas.”  When a pastoral leader accepts “fluffy hocus-pocus” as an uncontested definition of prayer, we are in deep trouble.

I don’t want to be in that kind of deep trouble.

But one can only compromise so much before losing their identity. And I think one ends up to a place where prayer seems like “fluffy hocus-pocus” through lots of compromising; by indulging in permitted, but un-beneficial, acts so much so that we end up forgetting who we are and, and even more important, whose we are. Sort of like giving up a birthright.
Esau is easy to make fun of, because he gave up his birthright for a bowl of soup.
But, c’mon. He’s not the only one who compromised their birthright — their identity — for fleeting moments of temptation.

Kylie Bisutti basically said, “This is who I am. This is what I believe. And doing that will compromise all of this.“
Many may not understand. I didn’t at first. And maybe I still don’t. After all, I could easily rationalize and justify it saying that it’s just a ‘job’; a means to an end; a guy’s gotta eat.

But, I do find it admirable that someone was able to stand up for what they believe in. (Without telling anyone else that they are an abomination and going to hell and yada, yada.)

Once, we were at a restaurant enjoying our lunch, when I started hearing sound that wasn't part of the restaurant's music. It sounded like a live TV show with laughing and clapping.

I looked over and saw a mother and daughter eating lunch together. Only, they weren't really eating lunch together.

The daughter had her earphones on and was watching a Korean drama on her iPhone while eating.

The mother did not have earphones, but that did not keep her from watching her Korean talk show while eating her lunch — with the volume up high enough that we could hear.

(Cell-phone etiquette tip #1: No one around you wants to listen to what you're listening to. That also goes with those who have laptops in public places, like coffee shops. If you forget your earphones, do the right and polite thing — just wait until you get home to watch that video or listen to that audio clip. Oh. Tip #1.5 — also, in a public area, don't put your conversation on speaker phone. No one else is interested in your conversation about what you need to pick up at the grocery store. I guara-darn-tee it.)

It was such an odd sight. Mother and daughter eating together, but neither engaging one another. Why even eat lunch together? Or watch the same show…?

But it's a common sight, right? People walking around with their faces buried in screens (oh. Cell-phone etiquette tip #2: Don't walk and text. Seriously. It's a bit dangerous. Just youtube “walking and texting” and you'll see how it can be hazardous. Improv Everywhere even made a video about this epidemic:

I mean, it seems like we give someone about 2 minutes (at best) to intrigue us, or back to our phones we go.

Technology is supposed to make our lives easier. But instead, many of us find ourselves prisoners to the screens that dominate our lives.

At the end of the day, who's controlling who?

Posted with Blogsy

Sticks and stones may break my bones (Photo credit: Joe Doe 2010)

(all together, now)
words will never hurt me.

One of the many lies of childhood. (Tooth Fairy? Santa Claus? Your face will get stuck like that?)
Well, actually, I really believed it growing up. I had to. Kids made fun of me so much, this phrase made me believe that I could be like rubber and “boing flip” words they said to me.

I think the phrase might be a ‘lil more accurate if the saying went something like,
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will have such a lasting effect that I may have to go see a counselor for the rest of my life. Thanks.”

I’m a clutz. I hit my head, shins, knees, toes anywhere and everywhere. It hurts when it happens. But the pain and memory of it eventually fades. (And I never learn, because I still hit my shin and knee on the same coffee table that we’ve had for years).

But, words? — man. We can recall the horrible things people have said to us decades ago, can’t we?

I remember talking to an elderly gentlemen who still could recall, with vivid memory, how when he was in the 6th grade, kids would call him “droopy pants” because his family couldn’t afford pants that fit him right. Over 6 decades later, he still remembered how those words made him feel.

I recently decided to revisit Luke’s Gospel for my devotions.
I’m sure I’ve noticed this before, but I didn’t really pay attention to it until this time around.

In the first half of Luke (that’s how far I got in my devotional readings, so far), most of Jesus’ healing miracles (if not all) are done by Jesus speaking to the person. More than touching the person to heal, he spoke to them.
Like the paralyzed man who was brought by his friends.
Like Simon’s mother in-law where Jesus “spoke harshly” to the fever she had.
Like the demons, in the story following Simon’s mother in-law, where Jesus also “spoke harshly” to the demons.
And so many more…

Not to mention, God spoke the universe in existence.

Which reminded me, once more that
Our words (also) have power.
Our words can build, restore, affirm, heal.
Our words can give life.

But our words can also destroy.
Our words can mar the image of God in a person.
Our words can snuff the light out of someone’s soul.

In the immortal and wise words of Uncle Ben, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

The problem may lie in the fact that many of us (myself, strongly included) may not think (or remember) that our words have such great power.

Or that adding, “… just saying” absolves anything horrible that was uttered before that two-word phrase.

Scars of the heart and soul don’t mend and heal as easily as broken bones caused by sticks and stones. Or attempting to jump over a friends car, and miserably failing. (Thankfully, the biggest injury was to my ego — not only was I embarrassed, I had lost the bet that I could jump over the hood of his car.)

May we be mindful of our words and use them not to belittle, deny, and destroy, but use them to uplift, to build and to give life.

In the meantime, see if you can spot these things:
coffee
Africa
coffeemate creamer
guitar tuner
JIF to Go Peanut Butter
Matches
An Old Cell Phone

And yes, those are Superman capes that are hanging on my wall.