Tag Archives: Annual Conference

No Creative Title Here, But It’s About the Night That I Got Ordained and the Sermon That Was Preached. Sort of.

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Look. I had 3 different drafts of this post, since our Cal-Pac Annual Conference.
After I finished each one, I read it then reread it. Then deleted it. I didn’t even save it as a draft, which I normally do.

I just didn’t want to weigh in with my two cents because, well, I just didn’t have anything nice to say, truthfully. Or productive. Or even worthwhile.

Just a complaint, that will make me sound like a brat.
Here’s what’s going on right now. Click here.

Bishop Talbert was the preacher for our ordination worship celebration for Annual Conference.

Now, let me get this out of the way. I agree with what Bishop Talbert preached on. I had no problem with the content of the sermon.

But, I did have a problem with the time and place he chose to preach it.
I rarely want to make things about me, at least in a celebratory way. But you know, honestly, that night was about us, as the ordination class, and what God has done and continue to do through us.

It was about the years we poured our tears, sweat, some of us blood (in forms of paper cuts, perhaps) and lives in the long and often redundant and ridiculous and utterly arduous process of ordination.

It was about how we endured, only by the grace of God.
It was, at least for me and a couple of friends, about failing but refusing to stay down. Because God refused to let us go, even though many times, I (for one) wanted wash my hands free of the process, and ultimately the United Methodist Church.

It was to be a night of celebration and achievements. A small part of it being about us, but the bigger part about what God had done, despite and in spite of the ordinands.

The second to the last thing I wanted to hear that night was a 40 (plus) minute long sermon.

Especially since I know that my parents and my mother in-law wouldn’t understand most of the sermon.

The last thing I wanted to hear that night was a intentionally and thoroughly politically charged sermon.

Bishop Talbert entitled his sermon, “Do The Right Thing.”
And had he touched on any of the many many many subjects we, as newly ordained full members of the Cal-Pac Conference, could engage in doing the right thing, I honestly would’ve been okay.

There are so many issues where clergy and the church has dropped the ball by not doing the right thing. He could’ve touched on any one of those issues: poverty, homelessness, immigration, abuse, racism… I don’t know. But I do know that, as a clergy, my doing the right thing goes beyond just the issue he spent all night talking about.

This was a graduation ceremony, in many aspects.
Tell me, who would use the forum of the commencement speech to advance his/her own political beliefs?

Would it be any different, if I were to give the commencement speech at a graduation filled with Korean and Japanese students, and spend 40 minutes about how Dokdo rightfully belongs to Korea?

Would it be wise for someone to use the platform of the commencement speech to talk about same-sex marriage?

Would it be wise for me to tell recent graduates to undermine the authority that is already established?

I did not invite my brother to fly from Hawaii to join in this celebration only to force him to sit and listen to a topic that he does not agree with; a subject that we don’t see eye to eye. Which is completely okay.

I didn’t enjoy having awkward conversations at Coco’s Restaurant with folks (even folks I never met) about my feelings and thoughts on the sermon.

I wanted to just enjoy the night and bask in what God accomplished in me–in all of us. And I strongly feel that was taken from us.

Bishop Talbert, in my humble opinion, did a fantastic job of making that night about himself, more than anything else.

Call me a brat. Call me selfish. Call me naive. Call this a self-absorbed temper tantrum. Because you’d be absolutely right.

But dammit, in the eternal words of Lesley Gore: “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to.”

… or something along that line.

Being Without Doing

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It saddens me to see so many UM local churches that are declining and ineffective, because we don’t have to be. I’m not saying that all UM churches should be flourishing with members, growing each year, and have lots of money in the bank. Not at all. But I know that every single UM church has the power to be a transforming presence within their neighborhood and community. I strongly believe in our message and theology. And I strongly believe our capacity to bring transformation into our community and the ability to make healthy and effective disciples of Christ.

In case you’re wondering, this has nothing to do with any outcome of the General Conference 2012. I tried to get excited for it, but I couldn’t. I even tried following along with the live feeds. But when people were presenting amendments to the amendments, I couldn’t endure it. I’m waiting for someone to post cliff notes of all things General Conference 2012 soon.

But from local churches to the General Conference, I feel like many of us are sitting around and talking until we see eye to eye on everything before we do anything (from John Perkins). That’s never going to result to anything. There’s not a single community (secular or religious) that exists where everyone sees eye to eye on everything 

I think what bothers me the most, from my limited view and experience, is that many of our struggling local churches make the mistake of trying to be without doing (also from John Perkins). We put all the energy and breath into what we think we should be. But when it comes to doing something about it, well, it never happens. A lot of times, a subcommittee is created to do more talking about the ideal being. Then disagreements happen. Someone hijacks the committee’s vision and brings his or her own agenda. Sometimes another task force needs be created to deal with the disagreements. We have amendments to the amendments and a task force or a sub committee for every new amendment and eventually, everyone’s confused and/or there’s too much to clarify and organize. Either way, the end result is that nothing really happens.

And because of all this talking about how we should be, we’ve slowly lost track of what year it really is and the reality of the culture and community we are surrounded by. The culture is decades ahead of our church, so much so, that walking into some of our local churches is like experiencing time traveling. And it frustrates me to no end that churches do not use media technology, especially in SoCal, arguably the mecca of media technology. I mean, Hollywood is our backyard. (A quick side note, projecting the lyrics to the hymn on a screen helps everyone. First, people look up and can see everyone else’s face. Second, it’s easier for many to read (the bigger) words projected on the screen than strain to look at the small type in the hymnal. Third, it never hurts to incorporate media like pictures, video clips to enhance your sermon, once in a while.)

Every year in our ordination exams in the Cal-Pac Annual Conference, this question is asked:
You are seeking to join an annual conference that has experienced more than three decades of decline and has scores of struggling churches? How will you address this reality in your ministry as a Deacon or Elder?

I answered that I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to change anything within the Annual Conference. Simply, it’s big and vast and too much to think about bringing any chance to the Annual Conference. I told them that my goal is to do the best that I can by and through God’s grace for the local church and the community that I am appointed to.
They pushed back asking about our connectionalism and that we’re called to serve the Annual Conference and not just our local church.
I responded with, How’s that working out for us? We’re still declining. How long are we going to wait for change to come from the top down? There are too many differing opinions and thoughts within our Annual Conference. While the diversity is beautiful and necessary, we’re going to spend so much energy and time arguing about how things should be that change doesn’t really happen. In the history of the church, it’s always been a small group of people that made drastic changes for the entire body of Christ. The 12 Disciples. The Apostles. The Desert Fathers. Martin Luther. I strongly believe that some of our local churches will start hitting a grace-filled stride that results in effectiveness, healthiness and growth and other local churches will notice. And because we tend to be a copycat church, when one UMC does something that is effective, other churches will start trying to translate the methods of the effective church into their own setting. And maybe they’ll be enough of a ripple effect that makes the entire conference notice.

I didn’t pass that year my ordination exams that year. I could tell from their response that many of them didn’t like my answer. And I’m not saying that it was a good answer or that I was right. I mean, still today, I don’t even know if I answered the question correctly.

But I still believe in what I said though, that effective change always seem to have come from the down up. To wait for the General Conference and the Annual Conference to make the necessary changes is not productive use of time, gifts and energy. By the time we get this massive ship that we call UMC to make important shifts and changes in direction, we’ll already be years too late.

I believe that our local churches have no excuse to be dying. Check that. I believe that we have no excuses of dying without putting up a fight. I say, if we’re expecting to close our doors in the next two years, let’s go out with a bang. Let’s throw a banquet and invite the poor and the sick and the migrant workers and have a taste of what heaven would be like. Let’s make our presence felt and known in our community. Let’s be like Jonathan and his young armor bearer in 1 Samuel 14 and, well, “just do it.”

Perhaps I am still too young and naive to understand how everything works. A clergy at a district gathering once said to me, “Just wait until you get to my age, and you’ll see.” What I’ll see, I have no idea. But I’m sure he was talking about how young and naive I appeared to be and how out of touch with “reality” I was. I don’t know.

But what I do know is that we can’t afford to spend too much more energy and breath talking about how we should be and how things should be. As John Perkins writes, “Being is not complete until doing.”

We need to start putting our faith into work.
All of our local churches has the potential to bear fruit.
All of God’s churches has potential to make some sort of difference in our community.

We just need to stop talking about it and start putting our money where our mouth is.

 

 

 

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It’s Not You, It’s Me

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The Break Up Staircase?

Image by jasoneppink via Flickr

Raise your hands if you ever used that excuse!
*Raises hand*

Has this ever been true?
It’s the worst break up line, because everyone knows that it’s mostly you. It may be some part of me, but really, it’s you.

Our Annual Conference is next week. It’s the MOST exciting time of the year!

Because the time is approaching closer, I’ve been thinking about the ordination process more. Especially those of us who were unfortunate to not pass this year.

There are many of us who haven’t passed on multiple attempts. And it sucks. It hurts. It’s annoying. It’s every negative emotion we can go through.

But it seems like we seem to be way too quick to blame the BOOM. Granted, we’ve all heard sketchy stories of BOOM members.
At some point, though, don’t we have to really look at us, and see where we might be not communicating our passion and calling clear enough? At some point, don’t we have to look hard into the mirror and really say, well, it’s not you (BOOM) it just might be me, and really mean it?

I was incredibly annoyed that the BOOM suggested, in my first time around (when I didn’t pass my exams) that I was angry towards the UMC.
I was even more angry when the second time around, the BOOM suggested that I go see a professional counselor to see if I may have ADHD.
However, during the interview, I know I came off as a bit of a spaz. The one constant constructive criticism I receive from congregation members about my preaching is, “please talk a bit slower.” I was told that by my speech professor in college. My preaching professor reminded me that I’m not in a race. I’m a fast talker. I’m animated. Add caffeine, anxiety and nerves to that mix, there might be a slight chance that I totally spazzed out and gave someone a “legitimate” concern about my attention span. I still don’t think it was a fair thing for them to say that to me, though.

BUT. I know that I had some role in having someone on the BOOM to reach that conclusion.

I know many of my colleagues who don’t pass and therefore drop out of the UMC system completely. I get that, too. But what about the conversations we’ve had about changing the system? What about the your passion for the Wesleyan theology? What about your energy in really doing something good for our denomination?
Just like that, you quit on us?
Which begs me to ask, how serious were you about your words earlier?

Of course, I’d respect and honor everything someone tells me about their decision to quit the process and the denomination altogether. And they may have real, legitimate reasons to do so.
But I hope they walk away bearing some of the blame, and not completely cast all of it on the BOOM and the denomination and not be so bitter towards the UMC.

My point is, we can’t always walk away blaming someone else for not seeing what we see.
For instance, if we get mad at our church members for not seeing, hearing or understanding our vision, at some point we have to ask, am I clearly communicating the vision for the church?
I feel that the BOOM doesn’t fail anyone for the sake of failing them. They seem to have legitimate concerns about certain areas of the candidate. Whether we agree with them or not, they saw something that we don’t see or don’t want to see.

It’s not always someone else’s fault.
Sometimes, it really is me, not you.

Sometimes, it’s really God saying, there’s more I want to teach you. Or God asking, why do you really want to pass the ordination process? Is it for acceptance? For approval of your peers?  For self-validation or self glory? To prove naysayers wrong? Or is it really because you’re ready to turn your life over into my hands?

I don’t know.
I just know that I no longer see the BOOM as a obstacle to burst through.
I know now that they’re not really my enemy. I’m not saying I view them, collectively, as friends, either.
But, they’re not “against” me as I may have previously thought.

And, I know that sometimes, it IS me. Not you.

Thoughts From My First Annual Conference

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  • I wish that they could find another place to do the Cal-Pac AC. It’s just too darn hot in Redlands
  • Many of the attendants do not wash their hands after bathroom use. I couldn’t shake that thought out of my head when I had to shake hundreds of hands.
  • I thought it SUCKED that they gave the youth (who I stayed with) a dorm with NO AIR CONDITIONING in weather that gets up to 107 degrees. I heard someone say, “oh, if anyone can handle it, the youth can.” I think that’s a poor excuse, still. Almost made us feel like they didn’t care about us.
  • Something needs to be done about the youth that come to the conference. I don’t think majority of them get anything out of it, but a free trip.
  • Plenary sessions are way too long. Does it really need to be that long?
  • I didn’t like it when the plenary sessions made worship services start late. Or other schedules were pushed back/canceled because of them.
  • I really adore and respect Bishop Swenson.
  • The commissioning and ordaining service felt like I was sitting in graduation today. I think other people around me made a too big of a deal out of me being commissioned. I didn’t think it was THAT big of a deal.
  • Did I mention it was really hot?
  • I am not that happy that I have to do this every year for many years to come.

Koreans Are Funny

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Or maybe it’s just my parents.

Last night, I was commissioned as an elder in the Cal-Pac Conference of the United Methodist Church.
Because of certain circumstances, and a lot of it being my fault, we could not work out travel arrangements for my wife to come to the conference.
I didn’t really think twice about it, because the commissioning wasn’t a real big deal for me. Other people were making it far more big of a deal than I ever did or wanted to.
So, since my wife wasn’t there, my dad went up with me as my support person.
It was nice. Got a lot of congratulations from people.

Today, as we were leaving the conference, my parents thought that some of the Korean people there may have had funny thoughts.
They knew that I was married. But yet, my wife wasn’t there to be part of this “big” event. My parents were concerned that people would think that my marriage was in trouble, and that is why my wife was missing from such a “big” ordeal.
So my mom thought she did damage control by telling the people who ask where my wife was by saying that the wife was in Vegas visiting her mother visiting from Korea. (It’s true, my wife is at Vegas, staying with her sister and her younger brother and mother stopped by).

I couldn’t help but laugh. What silliness. =)

Annual Conference: Day 1

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It is hot.
Ridiculously.
The dorm room I’m staying, no AC.
I have no idea what is going on in the plenary sessions.
And maybe I shouldn’t be this honest, but I had a hard time staying interested.
I’m looking forward to playing a little basketball tonight with other clergy. I was interested in seeing what the young adult sessions were, but I’m more interested in fellowshipping over a game of basketball.

To sum up half of day 1, it’s hot.

Sorry For the Lack of Posts

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And expect erratic posts here and there from now until July.

Tomorrow, the movers come. I can’t believe that I’m really leaving Hawaii. It’s something I personally been wanting for about a year, and now that the times is really near, I sort of wish I had more… time.

Then it’s off to the Annual Conference to get commissioned.
Then the family and I are off to Vegas to meet up with my wife who will be staying with her during AC.
After Vegas, we will drive to Oxnard and be there for my dad’s first worship service at Oxnard KUMC on the 29th. And then it’s off to Cosa Mesa on the first of July.

That’s a packed schedule.
Moving takes so much time…

Skipping the Annual Conference

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Maybe the title grabbed your attention.
But that’s how I feel. I wish I could forgo it this year. (Though I think it’s highly improbably and probably highly looked down upon.) (Sorry for the parentheses, but highly looked down upon sounds funny).

Contrary to popular belief, I hate attention focused upon me, even for a brief moment.
I hated graduation where my name was called and I walked down the aisle and have people cheering for me.
That’s one reason why I skipped my college graduation.
That’s one reason why I skipped my seminary graduation.

You may be wondering, how I preach on Sundays, since that sort of puts attention on me while standing in front of people. But it’s simple. On Sundays, it’s never about me and I dare not make it about me for I fear the Lord. Besides, Shane Claiborne quoted someone in his book that God used an ass to speak to Balaam and he’s been using asses ever since. I’m an ass.

I am not looking forward to being commissioned. I wish there was a way around it. How terrible would it be if I wasn’t there?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. A part of me says that I’ll cause more commotion and bring more attention to myself if I were to skip (not that I can or would…). I have no idea what goes on during this time, but I hope it’s quick and painless.

I think I’m a lot more complicated than I need to be.
And. I like being an ass. Interpret that in any way you wish. =)