Tag Archives: Dan Snyder

Mac & Cheese

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Macaroni and cheese in a white bowl.

Image via Wikipedia

I’m writing this post based on something that happened this past weekend that I’m thoroughly (can’t emphasize that enough) embarrassed about. I debated whether to blog about this or not, because it makes me look real, real bad. And no body would know about it, because it all happened within my head.

But I learned a lesson. And I call out so many people (especially the United Methodist Church) on my blog, I found it rather hypocritical that I wouldn’t call out myself on my very own blog.

You have to understand that my wife has a very, very big heart. She is so generous and loving. I’m… not that quite big-hearted. I mean, there are reasons why people have called me “jerk”, “cold-hearted”, “heartless” … (or maybe that’s just my wife calling me those things…) I think a reason why I earned those titles (yes, ‘earned) is because, for the most part, I don’t like being emotional when I have to make a decision. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an emotional person. But, I don’t like letting my emotions rule my thoughts. Therefore, when I have to make a hard decision, I am (for the most part) able to take my personal emotions out of it, weigh both sides, and make the decision that I feel is the best for everyone involved, even if it means that people will get their feelings hurt. (Get over it, I would think in my head). If I owned an NFL franchise, and hired my brother to be a GM, and he went around acting like Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato (for you non-Redskins, read: incompetent), I would not think twice about replacing my brother. I’d still love him. He still could come and hang out at the owner’s box. But sorry, mom and dad, your second son was just a moron when it came to these things. Wow, do I digress….

My small group members and a couple of other people from church signed up to prepare and serve dinner at our local Winter Homeless Shelter. The wife and I signed up to make macaroni and cheese. (Well, more like I signed my wife up to make the Mac and Cheese)
My wife said that she’s gonna make some ‘bomb’ mac & cheese. And I believed her, because she’s a really good cook. (and, btw, it WAS REALLY good. I don’t even like Mac & Cheese…)

She came back from the grocery store and she said, “Oh man. This Mac & Cheese is gonna be great. I bought like 5 different cheeses. I hope you don’t mind, I spent like 60 or so dollars for the stuff that I needed.”

I paused. “Wait. Did you say like 60 dollars or 16 dollars?”
She said, “SIXTY. 6-0.”
I paused again. “But…”
“We should be okay, right?”
“But…” and then I paused. And thank God I did, because I knew the next words that were coming out of my mouth.

What I almost said was, “But, why are we spending so much for the homeless people?”
I cringe just thinking about what went through my head. I’m glad that something (Spirit? God?) stopped me from actually saying those words.

I know exactly what my wife’s response would’ve been. “Why the heck not?”

Not to mention, I’m the guy that once blogged about how people donate what they were about to throw away to the homeless shelter.
It’s not something I’m proud of. I’m sure that I would not be the only who would react that way, but that doesn’t give me much solace.
It’s one of those moments where God was looking at me and saying, “Really?” or, since it’s Monday and Monday Night Football is around the corner, “C’MON, MAN!”

I’m thankful for people who don’t think twice about being generous.
My wife certainly has much, much to teach me about being generous.

I think that I’m one of those people who are generous to a point. And I don’t like that about myself.

But, the important thing is, I can improve from this. And one of the biggest reasons I blogged about it today is to hold myself somewhat accountable.

Dear Mr. Dan Snyder

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A lot of people are calling for your blood and blaming you for the state of the Redskins since you began your ownership. I am not one of those people. In fact, I know that you want to win and win badly. Otherwise, you wouldn’t show how deep your pockets are and spend as freely as you would on these players with these great names and reputation.
But something has to change, and I firmly believe it just has to begin with you.
Running your franchise, I feel, isn’t that much different from pastoring a local church.
The biggest problem is that you are the face of the organization. That can be good, but, I don’t think it’s healthy. When the pastor is the face of the church, I feel something is wrong. The pastor, in all that he or she does, should always point to God, and therefore, God should be the face of the church. People may go to church wanting to see the pastor, but they should leave the church seeing God.
You’re out there too much, Mr. Snyder. The only other NFL owners that do that is Jerry Jones and Al Davis. Not good examples to follow by.
It starts with you. You need to look yourself in the mirror and decide what you want this franchise to be. Come up with a statement like “Win with Integrity and Lose with courage.” We shouldn’t be scared of failure. The real fan base will not desert you if this losing will pay off. A church will never move forward in the right direction, if they never fail together.
You need to look at your staff and players, and really evaluate if they fit into the vision you have for the Redskins. If not, you need to let them go. Even if they are your star players or your closest allies. No favoritism. People will take advantage of that and others will resent you for it.
Once you have your team, you need to trust them and empower them. If you constantly meddle in their business, you’ll pull the rug right out underneath from them and they will know that they do not have the freedom to do anything.
If a committee in our church constantly needs to seek approval from the pastor, then that committee is doomed to fail, because the passion will be gone, the rug will be swept under from them. We as pastors can’t wade in every pool that exists in the church. It’s unhealthy. Not only that, people will stop trying, because they know that the pastor will come fix whatever they did wrong. The passion will be gone. I didn’t learn how to do my laundry until I was 23, because my mom kept doing it for me. Even when she insisted that I needed to learn, she always kept doing it for me, so I never bothered to learn, until I was on my own.
And when we pastors are involved way too much, people start saying “The pastor is my shepherd” instead of “The Lord is my shepherd” and the people then will eventually say “I shall not want” him or her.

You need to start setting the example. Get your team behind a vision of winning with integrity and losing with courage. If you need to make changes, make them wisely. Don’t go out there based on people’s past reputation of what they did and have accomplished. Get them on what their gifts and ability are and what they can do.

Attitude reflects leadership, and that leadership begins with you in your organization and us in our local churches.