Tag Archives: Moving

Things I Won’t Miss

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Now, now don’t get the wrong idea. Moving is just as difficult (if not more) for the clergy and clergy’s family than the congregation. I say “if not more” because the congregation only has to say good by to, in our case, just the two of us– my wife and myself. Us, on the other hand, have to say goodbye to the entire church and the community that we lived in for the past 2.5 years. I’m actually going to really miss the Starbucks staff here at Valencia.

So, it’s a given that we’re going to miss people, places and things here in Valencia. But to make the move a bit easier for me, I started making a list of things that I wouldn’t really miss.

For starters, I’m not going to miss the summer weather of 2012 here in Valencia. We had a really warm winter and I know that the summer here is going to be crazy hot. There have been days that seemed to give us a mild preview of what summer will be like. I’m glad that I get to spend the summer in the nice, cool beach weather of Santa Barbara.

The other thing, hands down, I won’t miss is the apartment life. It wasn’t all that bad… but you know, neighbors make or break apartment life. We didn’t have bad neighbors upstairs, but they were really loud. Never intentionally. They had a dog the size of a sedan. And we could hear him running around the apartment. They would vacuum nearly everyday, I assume because of the dog hair, at odd hours of the day. We’d find dog hair all over our patio area and in my wife’s herbs and tomatoes. We won’t have to deal with the neighbor’s TV being on so loud that we couldn’t hear ours. Again, I’m just assuming it was loud because their hearing wasn’t what it used to be, and that they weren’t being jerks.

I won’t miss all the parking that we have to share, especially the humongous pick-up truck that would occasionally park right next to our car making it difficult to get in or out.

That’s pretty much it.

Yesterday was my second to the last Sunday here at the church. It’s getting more and more real that we’re moving.

People have been asking if I’m excited about moving. And yea, we’re both extremely excited. But, it’s a huge bag of mixed emotions. I can’t speak for my wife, but for me, I know I’m really excited. I’m also sad to be leaving this community behind. I’m also very anxious and nervous. Worried, is a given. So, it’s easier to not really think about it, when I don’t have to.

Thankfully, the next few weeks are going to be intense and hectic. I won’t have too much time to be consumed in my thoughts.

My Transition (New Appointment)

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For a little while, I wanted to title all of my blog posts starting with a “My” a la one of my favorite shows, Scrubs. But that’s neither here nor there.

This past Sunday, I announced that I will be serving St. Mark United Methodist Church in Santa Barbara, effective July 1.

It’s truly bittersweet. I have loved being part of Valencia UMC for the past two and a half years. I am really excited for what this church has visioned for the next few years. But, at the same time, I know that it’s time for me to move on.

While I still have a heart and passion for youth and youth ministry, I think I’m at a chapter in my life where I no longer want to be the “youth guy.” There are other aspects of ministry that I want to explore and experience and I think St. Mark is that place where I can further explore my call as a UMC pastor.

As saddened as we are leaving this church family, both my wife and I are 100% certain that this is God’s plan for us. So we are encouraged by our faith and hopeful that God will do great things through us in Santa Barbara.

On top of that, I am already familiar with St. Mark UMC, at least with their campus. 20 years ago, my dad started a Korean church on St. Mark’s campus. So from the age of 11-16, I was part of the youth ministry at St. Mark where this great guy named, Doug was the youth director. It is a sort of homecoming for me.

And, when we lived in Santa Barbara, my grandparents lived near Pomona, and we would frequently make that drive down to see my grandparents. My parents now live near Pomona. And, when we have kids, my kids will make that same drive down to see their grandparents.

I am excited for the move. I think I’ll get a bit more nervous and anxious as the days progress. I have no idea what’s in store for us in Santa Barbara. But I know that God will be with us with every single step that we take.

So, we’ll have to start packing soon. It’s always a weird feeling packing, especially the office. There’s this sense of sadness and a heaviness within the heart mixed with a sense of excitement and nervousness.

It’s been a blessed 2.5 years here at Valencia. And we are grateful for the lessons that we have learned and the friendships we have formed here.

I think it’s safe to say that transition is going to be a theme of many posts this upcoming month.

I’m looking forward to a great and crazy and memorable month of June.

Here we go.

No Ordination, but New Appointment

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It’s been a strange year and a half in my life.
But it was a very humbling process. The fact that I did not pass my ordination exams continues on with the journey that God has had me on since I left Hawaii.

The truth is, I was becoming reckless in my ministry. Not in any visible form, and I probably never would’ve discovered had I never come to this church.
My dependence and my confidence was in me. I relied on my talents and my gifts, thinking I was the producer of those things. Along with that, all the positive praises and things people have said about me, had slowly crept into my head, even though I fought against it.
I was doing ministry through my strength and my power and my ability. It was becoming reckless. It didn’t help that I was  fairly “successful” in Hawaii.

That’s the attitude that I came in with Mesa Verde. And it wasn’t quick before I begin to realize, I just can’t impose my will onto the youth at this church, or anyone else.
What I thought were key things that helped the ministry in Hawaii be healthy were not even hitting the front lawn of the church.
So, I was mystified. Confused. Frustrated. Is this what failure felt like?
Then, one day, out of the blue (when I still had an iPod), the song “My Way” came on while it was on shuffle play. And I realized something while Blue Eyes was crooning away in my ears. I’m doing ministry My Way. I wanted to finish this part of my chapter singing the anthem “I did it my way.”
And I realized how arrogant and egotistical this thought was. My way? In ministry? No. It has to be God’s way. I have to finish my life, singing “I did it God’s way.”
When this realization hit me, the journey toward humbleness began. Every turn I took, it led to a dead end, with what I pictured God’s finger up waving “no no no.” And I’d fight. And I’d concede. Take another turn, the original one that God wanted me to take.
And through it all, the people of Mesa Verde has been nothing but graceful, understanding and patient as I try to learn of God’s will and relearn what I understand of myself and what God wants to do with me. Surely, I would not be where I am mentally, spiritually and emotionally without the good people of this church.

And the whole ordination process. I don’t know who I am racing. I don’t know why I am in such a rush. And honestly, I assumed I would be given a chance to explain what I wrote in the interviews. And this, I feel, was another way of God nudging me to not be so over-confident in myself and that everything is on God’s time and in God’s control.

In April (for a mid-year appointment) I will be heading to Valencia United Methodist Church (www.umcv.org). I’ll be immersed in youth ministry. Something I thought I did not want. When I was first approached with this, I balked at the DS and God saying, “I thought I was done with youth ministry.” But at the urging of the DS and those close to me, I met with the pastor. What could I lose?
Then it dawned on me, during the discussions with people whom I trusted. I may have felt that I was done with youth ministry, but God sure had different plans. I laughed, prayed and prayed, and realized that God wasn’t willing to let me let go of Youth Ministry. Apparently, God still has plans for me that went against the plans I had for myself. (How often have we all experienced that?)
So, humbled, I’m ready to open the new chapter of my life. It’s a bittersweet feeling, as it always is, leaving behind my current church. But this has God’s fingerprints all over it, and I’d be a fool to ignore it.
The passion for youth ministry that I thought no longer existed in my heart has been reignited with a fervor and power through the Holy Spirit. I have no idea what God has in store for both myself and Valenica, but I know that it’s going to be messy, crazy, wild and Spirit-led.
Besides, in pro-sports, the best way to build a team is through great drafts or a great farm system (in Baseball.) (Hopefully something the Redskins will start doing. And soon). I kinda see that working on the church level. If we intentionally make disciples of youth, the future of the Church is bright and strong. I am ready. I am willing to do ministry God’s way and no longer mine. I know this tension between my way and God’s way will never go away, but hopefully I’ll catch on quicker to realize that God will always win.

To the people of Mesa Verde, we have 5 or so weeks left. I know I’ll get a chance to thank you in person, but thank you for your patience, grace and understanding. It’s something I would’ve never experienced had I been at a Korean church. You were instrumental in God getting through my thick skull and, apparently, hardened heart. I know that I am leaving Mesa Verde taking more than I have given. Words of thanks cannot be said enough, but know our hearts are filled with gratitude for your ministry to us and giving me a chance to learn more about myself and who God is molding me into.

To the people of Valenica, it’s going to be crazy. We’ll learn together if that “crazy” will be a good one or a bad one. Ha. You have no idea what y’all are getting yourselves into. But then again, neither do I. But this I do know: God is behind all that has happened and is happening, and if we open our hearts to the Spirit, God will do things that we may have thought impossible.

Well. God, I’m ready. Do your thang.

Empty House

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The movers packed everything.
I’m sitting in an empty apartment. Thankfully, I still have Internet service.
It’s a surreal feeling, further cementing the fact that, yes, I really am leaving. My parents leave on Monday, and we follow suit on Tuesday.

We only have a couple of days to get in all that is Hawaii. Fortunately, that’s all the time we need.

I’m going to miss the food here.

Sorry For the Lack of Posts

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And expect erratic posts here and there from now until July.

Tomorrow, the movers come. I can’t believe that I’m really leaving Hawaii. It’s something I personally been wanting for about a year, and now that the times is really near, I sort of wish I had more… time.

Then it’s off to the Annual Conference to get commissioned.
Then the family and I are off to Vegas to meet up with my wife who will be staying with her during AC.
After Vegas, we will drive to Oxnard and be there for my dad’s first worship service at Oxnard KUMC on the 29th. And then it’s off to Cosa Mesa on the first of July.

That’s a packed schedule.
Moving takes so much time…

My Last Week

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Today starts my last week here in this office and the church (Mondays are my day off). I have all these books I must take back home with me. The NIB Commentary set is going to be a hassle to get out of my office.

I can’t believe how fast time flies. It’s already June.
As expected, there’s a full range of emotions felt.

As much as I felt the “island fever” a part of me will always miss Hawaii. There’s no place like it in the world.

A Bit Under the Weather

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I’ve been a little sick. It didn’t help that we had an all boys lock-in at the church.
I hate coughing. I hate the headaches. I’m just annoyed.

I don’t have a lot to say. The thoughts of moving and making sure everything is in check has been consuming my mind. And I don’t want every post to be about my moving.

I do, however, feel that I need to start saving up money to invest in a new computer. My laptop’s applecare expired. Hopefully my powerbook will last me at least a year longer…

New Appointment

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I have been appointed to Mesa Verde UMC in the Orange County of California.
I am excited and extremely nervous.
This will be a unique experience for me.
The church is, according to their members, 90% white folks. And, they have a very traditional worship service with organs and choir. I have never been part of a church that uses organs as their main instrument. And, I have never been part of a church where I am the minority. And that does make me a little nervous. It’s not easy being a minority. I expect to experience levels of culture shock as I get to start working at the church. This is definitely going to be something totally different and new. That is both welcomed and feared. I really think this is going to be a great learning experience for me.

In going to Mesa Verde, I’m leaving the Korean church, something I was planning on doing eventually, but not so soon. I wrestled with it for a while. I was one of the people who believed that leaving the Korean church wasn’t going to solve the problems that we face as second generation pastors. So many second generation pastors leave the Korean church or ministry altogether. But in my prayer and discernment, I realized that this opportunity (Mesa Verde) would equip me (administration-wise, especially) to be a better pastor and leader for a church. At this point, I don’t intend to go back to an immigrant-Korean church. It’s really difficult and stressful. But there are a lot of English Ministries who are part of the Korean churches but fairly autonomous, such as Church on the Holliston, Troy Hope, and Abundant Life Community. And hopefully, I can be part of an English Ministry (or planting one) in the near future.

It’s a bittersweet feeling leaving behind Hawaii and a wonderful and great group of students. But I strongly feel that this is where God is leading me next, and who am I to disobey?