You Never Let Go

That’s what I told them (BOOM) during the interview process. Well, I said, “God never lets go.” Which is true.
I told them that regardless of what the result of today is, God never lets go.
I told them that I shouldn’t be here. Two of my papers didn’t get passing grades, and yet, I am still here. God refuses to let me go.

Word got out that all three candidates yesterday didn’t make it. It made me more nervous in the interviews.

Be yourself. That must’ve been the mantra of day. I kept telling them, sometimes being myself isn’t the best of things. They laughed, thinking I was joking. I was serious.

Questions after questions. It was hectic. It was nerve wracking. Intimidating. I drank 3 bottles of water. One for each interview. I had to pee crazy all throughout the day.

I told them, I don’t think I’m supposed to be here. That I am only here by the grace of God. Because no matter how much I screw up, God won’t let go of me. I must’ve said that many times today. By the grace of God, I am here.

Everything I prepared for, studied for, read for, all went away as soon as the questions were asked.

I really felt that I screwed up many questions.

Then after the interviews, they made us wait an hour to hear the results. An hour. Of sitting. Praying. Looking at the clock going by slowly. Reading. Walking. Peeing. Drinking more water. More peeing. And yes, they’re ready and their decision effects my immediate future.

I walk into the room. No smiles. Great. She talks slowly. Slow isn’t good. Then, a smile.
And I passed. I passed! I couldn’t believe it.
I told them to give me a minute so that my heart can start beating again.
So, I passed. By the grace of God. Because God refuses to let me go from this calling.

So, here begins a new journey.
Thank you to all who prayed for me.
Without them, I probably would have even a longer flight home.

They recommended me. It’s funny. I’m actually laughing now.
And there was absolutely nothing that I did. Because based on what I did, I wouldn’t have gotten this far. For some reason, God decided that He wasn’t going to let me screw this one up.
So, I’m thankful, grateful, tired and of course, happy.

6 thoughts on “You Never Let Go

  1. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. I’m really glad I happened to stop by your blog today 🙂 There must be a great peace in knowing you are doing something you were meant to do. We all miss seeing you and Rahel but I can’t think of a job more worthwhile. congrats again!…see, you were were worried over nothing 😉

  2. i’m so glad you passed! i knew you would, but it’s nice that it’s done eh? congrats!! now the important thing since you’ve got that outta the way is what you gonna do with it? like you said, this journey has just begun. good luck!!

  3. Hey Joseph!

    I just got commissioned last May, so the experience is very fresh for me as well. Glad your interviews went well. I should tell you about the crazy questions they asked me at mine. 🙂 Hope you and Rahel are doing well, brother!

    I think about you guys from time to time.

    Take care,

    Steve

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