What an amazing first day at NYWC in Sacramento.
This is how ghetto we are.
We were packing for our trip to Sacramento. My wife didn’t have travel size toothpaste. And it was too late in the night to go out just for travel size toothpaste.
So I came up with a brilliant idea. I’ll smuggle some toothpaste onto the plane. How?
I wear pants with deep pockets. The toothpaste will fit in my pocket, and it’ll be smooth sailing from there.
So this morning, the plan was set into motion.
I got the toothpaste situated in my pocket, and everything was good to go. There was no sign or evidence that I had anything in my pocket.
So we’re at the security check, and I go through, and the metal detector goes off. I have never had the metal detector go off.
Fine. I take off my watch and belt, as instructed, but declined to take off my wedding ring.
I go through the metal detector. And it goes off again!
Then the lady says, something’s in your pocket. You gotta take it out.
So now, I’m stuck. I have no idea what to say or do.
I feigned surprise and said, ‘Oh crap. I forgot, I had toothpaste in my pocket!’ The problem is, the tube of toothpaste is the regular big size one.
The security check lady is giving me this “I can’t believe this” look, while all the TSA agents around me are cracking up.
I go through the metal detector. Silent as can be.
Embarrassed and humiliated, I walk to my wife who was wondering what took so long. I explained what just took place, and she busted out laughing.
I learned two lessons:
1) Toothpaste tubes will set off the metal detector in airports.
2) Okay, I only really learned one lesson. But in trying to save money by not buying an additional travel size toothpaste, I ended up throwing a barely used new regular-sized tube of toothpaste.
Learn from my mistakes and humiliation, people. I am sharing this with you in hopes that you never get caught with toothpaste in your pocket.