I Thought God Looks At My Heart

My dad constantly complains, when he sees me, that I don’t look like a pastor.
A lot of people are surprised (both in a bad way and good) when they find out that I am a pastor.
Do I take it as a negative? No. In fact, I’m thankful and glad that people have to talk to me to find out that I’m a pastor. My reason has always been, well people are more willing to talk to me because I don’t look like a pastor.

Recently, there was a comment made that my last post was not appropriate and that the reader was disappointed and that I could do better.
I know I’m a jack ass. I’ve been an ass all my life. (It’s funny though, that God, once used an ass to speak for him, and been using one ever since…)
As disapproving and shocking as it may be, crap, hell, damn, frick, friggin’, frack, dammit, shoot, sucks, lame, dude, is part of my every day language. I know it’s not appropriate, and I try to avoid using that language around church.

But honestly, what should a pastor look and sound like?

Does it matter that I wear baggy clothes?
Does it matter that I say, dammit? Or call my brother a douche or a moron?
Does God care that when I’m exercising and a Tupac or Eminem song comes on my iPod and sometimes forget to censor myself?
Does it matter that I always have a bad hair day and am desperately in need of a haircut?
Would God honestly care that I really want a tattoo, if only I had the guts and know what tattoo I wanna get?

Or, does God care more for the fact that,
my heart breaks when I see a homeless person pushing a cart in the street and I get out and help them?
or that when youth come to seek my guidance and counsel, that I give them my undivided attention and my heart?
or that I love reading the bible and being in prayer?
Or that I’m trying to more than a Christian, but a disciple of Christ?

What really matters here? My language or my actions? Sure, my language may reveal that my heart is immature, but hopefully my actions shows that my heart is on fire for God.
Isn’t that what really matters?

And I’m tired of people trying to force me into a box because of what I do.
John the Baptist did not dress the way the religious leaders did back then. I’m also willing to bet he did not speak like the Pharisees.
God loves me the way I am. And God’s grace constantly is in my life and transforming me. Pushing me into places where I don’t want be. Pushing me outside of my comfort zone. God’s grace is really changing my heart and how I view the world.
People are too focused on the outside stuff. And never really focus on the heart. The language, the clothing, the style, whatever, that’s all outside stuff.

Too many pastors are not real.
And we, the younger generation, can see right through that and I, personally, am turned off by a pastor like that. I’d rather have my pastor be raw, honest and real (even if he’s tattooed, pierced, says inappropriate language) and led by the power of the spirit, than be a cookie cutter pastor who tries to fit a certain mold. But, hey, again, that’s just me.

The mantra for youth this generation seems to be “Be Real.”
I’m trying my best to be real in my life and in my faith, and have my faith mold my life.

I can’t worry about pleasing and meeting people’s expectation. I’m not here to please people, but I’m here to serve God.

You can disagree with every thing that I said.
You can read this and deem me as immature, arrogant, young, sarcastic, or even jack ass.
That’s fine. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. Heck, I think I’m all those anyway.
But I know that God is using me (and using this version of me). He hasn’t told me to upgrade my personality.

And if you don’t get that, then maybe God has called me to a different kind of people.
Some people need the professional looking pastor who act professional.
Some people need pastors who are more casual.
And some need pastors who do ministry out of a bar instead of a church.
But the awesome thing is, God is in all those places, revealing his plan and purpose in the hearts of those gathered.

That’s the body of Christ. We are all different, but with one purpose and one heart. How boring would the kingdom be if evereyone looked like the ‘typical’ (enter own mental picture) Christian?

3 thoughts on “I Thought God Looks At My Heart

  1. Having grown up under the “professional looking pastor” model, I’m moving more and more in your direction. It’s not just the youth who want authenticity, it’s the older generation too, whether they want to admit it or not. I’m so close to preaching in my jeans, if I can simply get over my own prejudices.

    Keep it up man.

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