Something is wrong with me (besides the obvious). And I can safely say that many probably will struggle with this too.
In Sunday School, we used to sing this song. It was easy, short and simple.
It’s just two phrases.
I have decided to follow Jesus 3 times and then it ends with “no turning back, no turning back.”

And at times when I am able to step back and reflect on everything that is life, I realize that I have failed in both accounts.
There are plenty of times when I am turning back and trying to retrace my steps and yearning for a distant part in my life, when knowing that God is leading me to a certain direction.
And “I have decided to follow Jesus?”
More often than not, I believe that it’s me making Jesus follow me.
I loved playing follow the leader as a kid. But even as a kid, I wasn’t good at that game, unless I was the leader. That’s sort of reflected in my faith. It’s easier to have Jesus follow me than me actually following Jesus.

But I am reminded everyday, through family, through friends, through strangers, through church members, through nature that God is always within me, and that God’s grace continues to change and transform me.
And each day, I remind myself to the commitment that I have joyfully, fearfully, and with all that I am and have decided to follow Jesus, because that’s the only way to live life.