I didn’t know if this was supposed to be my calling. If anything, it always felt more like my dad’s calling for me (my dad’s a pastor).
I was very reluctant, and wanted to find a way to break the news to my family that perhaps ministry wasn’t the best of options for me.
Before I got a chance to, my dad encouraged… well, more like forced… perhaps there was a threat thrown in here and there, for me to attend Exploration 2002 in Chicago, IL.
I don’t remember anything about Exploration 2002. I can’t remember what the speakers said. I can’t remember the names of the people I met.
All I remember was thinking, “oh crap.”
At Exploration, there were all these booths with seminary representation and information. I talked to 3-4 of them until a small dim light went off in my head. And I knew that seminary was the next step to me. I didn’t know what I was going to do, where I was going to go, or if I’m really going down this path, but all I knew was God telling me that seminary was the next chapter of my life.
I remember going back to my hotel room, feeling numb. Thankfully, all my roommates were out for the moment. I sat down on the floor, and kept saying “oh crap. oh crap. oh crap.”
So, here I am. 7 years later. Still learning. Still growing. But I know this is God’s plan for my life, and I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.
Let me say this about Exploration.
I attended with the thought that my questions would be answered, and I’d leave Exploration with a clearer idea of my future (hoping that ministry wasn’t the option.)
But, I left Exploration with more questions than I ever had before. It was a bit frustrating, I admit.
But, looking back, it was a really good thing, because I left Exploration asking the right questions for my life and call.