Stuff Christians Like

I actually find this book rather funny. It’s a nice break from all the other reading I do.
However, my wife and my brother didn’t find it as humorous and tickling as I did. But, his book has made me chuckle and laugh on several occasions.
So far, this is the section that has made me laugh the most, because of how true it is, and how many times I’ve heard the sentiment in my life. (after the jump) If you want a laugh about Christianity (not at it, there’s a difference), then I think you’ll find this book to your liking. He writes about the appropriate way to hold hands in a prayer circle, or how much pressure you put on your eyes with your thumb when you are praying, or the different ways to raise your hand when praising…
But you can also check out Jonathan Acuff’s blog as well. (ps. My apologies to Acuff for blogging out an entire section of his book. But it was funny, and I wanted to share it)

Wishing You Had An Easy Job, Like Working @ a Church

Don’t you wish you worked at a church? That would be such a dream job!
I’ve never been blessed that way but my assumption is that other than Sunday, a church job is kind of like having a really long quiet time. You probably get to read the Bible all day and take long breaks in your prayer closet and spent 8 hours a day growing your own spiritual life.

I’m sure the phone ring sometimes, like when someone needs a casserole of hope after a death in the family or a youth group van breaks down, but for the most part I imagine the average day is filled with a lot of “me time.”

And God is your boss. How cool is that? There’s no politics or in-fighting or gossip like at the average corporate job. It’s just a collection of people, a family really, living out the gifts God has given them. Loving on each other. (You actually work at a place where “love on” is an acceptable verb!) Everyone is all on the same page, pouring out to each other the love that God is pouring on them. Don’t you want to hug this book right now just thinking about that?

I bet there’s always an acoustic guitar being played somewhere in the office. (Should we even call where people work at a church an “office”? Let’s call it a “happy holy spot” instead.) And when you go to make copies on the printer, you’ll hear the acoustic guitar and probably join an impromptu sing-along right there in the mailroom and make up a song.

Is it even a full-time job? Seriously, other than maybe a few hours on a Sunday morning, what else are you doing? Praying? Worshipping? Holding car washes to raise money for mission trips? What’s that take, 4 hours, tops? How do you spend the rest of the week?

Being loved on I bet. See, there it is again! That’s the kind of thing that is constantly happening if you work at the church, but good luck trying to say that at a real job. If tomorrow in one of my meetings at work I said, “I really need to love on these 3rd quarter budget estimates,” I would immediately get “laughed on” by my co-workers. Not if you work at church. They support each other!

Plus, they’ve got an entire congregation full of people that love them unconditionally. Imagine having hundreds of people that are fans of what you do and how you do it. People that are going to wholeheartedly accept what you do and never write mean emails no matter if they disagree with your decisions. Me? I read negative opinions from our customers all the time. People that work at churches? They’re opening thank-you notes and sunshine emails and gift baskets with delicious cheeses and spiced meats all day long.

Someday, if they ever sunset my job (a fun-sounding euphemism w’ere actually now using to replace the word “eliminate”) maybe I’ll get a church job and get to live the sweet life.

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