I fight, wrestle, struggle with God… and sometimes I wonder… why? It’s not like I’m ever going to win. We have a bigger problem if I do win.
But I do. We all do, don’t we?
Something deep within me is telling me that I can’t win this one.
Yet, I feel like I’m going to put up the biggest fight I can.
Because I’m so hesitant, reluctant, because I’m resisting, because I’m not willing to listen to God on this one… something tells me that I can’t win.
Only God knows the answer.
But, I don’t discourage anyone of wrestling with God or questioning your faith or God in your life.
The churches I were a part of before, questioning one’s faith and calling was looked down upon. You were expected to be stronger than that. Bigger than that. More faithful than that.
But for me, it also takes faith to present your struggles, questions and doubts in front of God and wrestle with them.
I shared in a previous post that wrestling is an intimate sport. You can’t wrestle with someone who is far away.
When you are wrestling with God, God is absolutely near you. God needs to be, in order to wrestle.
It’s in times like these, prayer becomes even more critical in our lives.
May you not be afraid to wrestle with God.
But may you, at the end, come out believing that God is good. If so, you have won also, except your victory is not about what you’ve done, but what Christ has done.