So I had a whole blog post idea.. a couple to spread out this month… but just wanted to invite you into my head… we have to miss out on our small group this Wednesday and as I was sending my group an email, I thought I should be real honest in why we have to miss out on Wednesday, and not give a generic “can’t make it” email.
Oh… and contrary to popular belief… I do use my time fairly well.
Hate to do this, but the Yoo’s gotta dip out for group.
There’s a rumor that a zombie apocalypse might take place this weekend, so we, as freedom fighters of a totally different kind, have to go and investigate how we may prevent (more like delay) a zombie apocalypse. Fortunately, this is not my first time, as I have saved the world from many end-of-the-world disasters. It’s really a thank-less job because no one knows about the heroics my team and I go through. (There was a vampire epidemic in 2005 that nearly destroyed my team… a few didn’t make it, and it was heartbreaking to have to stake them.. but we gotta do what we gots to do, you know? I’m not really supposed to talk about it…) But we don’t do it for the glory. We do it because if we didn’t, the world, as we know it, will be over. This is, however, Rahel’s first time dealing with zombies. Hopefully, this won’t be too hard to contain.
Here’s the thing. If we are not back by Sunday, stock up, because that means that the zombies got us… and the zombie apocalypse is weeks, if not days, away.
If you can, go overseas… it might take the zombies a little longer to get there, giving you a little more time to prepare.
If you see Rahel or me after Sunday, it’s not us. The zombies will have gotten to us, and we’ll be zombies, ourselves.
If the zombies come to you, always aim for the head. If you have a gun, don’t waste your time shooting the chest or arm or legs. Head. They want your brains. You shoot theirs to save yours. Traditionally, zombies are slow… but we’re going to investigate a rumored new type of breed, who might have agility and speed. So get guns, crossbows… anything that you can use from a distance.
Anyway, don’t worry. My team is well equipped and well versed in these type of things. We rarely fail, as you can see, the human kind have been around forever. We go back to the caveman days.
Please do not ask any questions, as I’m breaking our vow to let you know of our “adventures.” It’s because we care for you and want to give you every chance of survival, should we fail.
So I do hope that you don’t mind that we miss out this Wednesday. I’m betting my life that we’ll see y’all come Sunday. Remember, if you don’t see me on Sunday… well, brace yourselves.
We believe that God loves everyone… but I don’t know where God stands against zombies…
May God be with us all.