Wait, How Do I Make an Asterisk?

So, I came across this website.

It’s sort of like the fruit basket of the month thing but for men to help them “become a gentleman one box at a time.” It’s $45 dollars a box (per month), and you can pass on the month’s box if you don’t want it (and not be charged $45.)

I’ll never need the stuff that comes in those boxes. But yet, I’m strangely drawn to them and want the things I know I’ll never use.

One month’s box was dedicated to the art of shaving. They had special shaving lotion and all the other stuff men are supposed to use when they need to shave. I wouldn’t know, because I can’t grow a beard to save my life. A regular person’s five o’clock shadow would take me weeks to grow. And that’s just under my chin area and the designated mustache area. No facial grows on my cheeks. None. Many have said to me, “Be grateful that you don’t have to deal with shaving every day.” Sure, but I want to have the ability to walk around rocking a James Harden beard. Just because I can.

Another month’s box was dedicated to whiskey, apparently a gentleman’s drink. I wouldn’t know. I never tried whiskey and I’m sure my reaction to the taste of whiskey won’t be very “gentlemanly”. The box included 2 special whiskey glasses. I’d never use it, but I wanted it, because I could keep it in my church office and pretend to be Don Draper. Though, I’m sure church folks might find it a bit concerning.

As I was browsing through their website that’s been around for a few months, I couldn’t help but want these things that I’ll never need or use. I’m a sucker, what can I say? Have a good enough of ad, and I’ll covet it… I may not go out and buy it, but I’ll want the heck out of it.

A blog post was brewing in my head of what makes a man a man in our culture today. I was about to flesh out my thoughts for a blog post, when I saw this:

I literally spent 5 minutes digging through my backpack, looking under the the chairs at Starbucks, sifting through my books and notebooks to see if I could find that stupid “8” keypad button thingy. I mean, I was digging. People might’ve thought that I was crazy or lost something really valuable. And no luck. It’s not near me. It’s not in my backpack. It’s not in any of the items that were in the bag.

I cannot tell you how annoyed I was. In fact, I was (am, still) legitmately surprised (and a bit shocked) of how this really, really annoyed me. I mean, I started being irrational. My first thought, after realizing that I may have permanently lost the “8” button (and believe me, it annoys me to type “8”) was, “Dang it. I have to buy a new keyboard.” What?!? Over one key? I came to my senses, and realized that this was still a good, and more importantly, useful keyboard. It still works. It’s still functional. It’s good. It’s also more money than I need to spend…

But it is not aesthetically pleasing. I’m annoyed at myself of how annoyed I am about this whole ordeal and how… spoiled, for lack of a better word, I must be to get worked up over the missing button. It’s one of those moments where someone needs to come and (gently) smack me and say, “Dude, first world problems.”

Like I said, I was legitimately surprised at how annoyed and worked up I was getting over something as trivial as this. I’m glad that this only shows up when it comes to inanimate objects and not when it comes to people. At least, I pray that it never comes up when dealing with people…

I can’t believe I thought about buying a new keyboard…

I apologize for wasting Internet space, words and thoughts on this matter.




*************************88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 … yea, no it’s still annoying. I’ll live though.


2 thoughts on “Wait, How Do I Make an Asterisk?

  1. So, how did you type the 8 and * at the end of the post, if the key is gone? You must have used some of your superhero powers!

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