That was a result of me fighting for my life after being chased by two big humungous men. Considering that cut on my head and the minor limp I sustained, I’d say I got off easy. I don’t know why they were chasing me. Or how they were able to catch up (given their size). Or why no one noticed two big men chasing after me.
Oh, right. It’s probably because that’s not what happened.
I had come back to church after a trip to my new barber shop to get a little work done.
As I was opening the door, I saw, on the other side of the door, a very agitated (and probably mutated and huge) wasp.
That man-eating wasp was buzzing really loud and started flying right toward my face, as soon as it found its opening.
I panicked and turned around to run when *BAM*! I see a flash of white light, and when I can see again, I’m on the ground, and I believe (and I’m not ashamed to admit this), I let out a whimper.
I had no idea what happened to me.
As I was trying to regroup, all I knew was that my head was ringing.
My head was hurting.
My teeth hurt a little bit.
My knee was hurting and cramping.
Oh. And, I don’t know if I already said this: my head was hurting.
I sort of felt like I got the receiving end of this:
In my panicked attempt to flee the man-eating (and, did I mention HUGE?) wasp, I failed to see the wooden beam that had always, always stood there. Even though, today, it jumped out of nowhere. I must’ve ran head first into the wooden pole, then must’ve landed on my right knee (only explanation why my knee hurts).
I think I was able to get up and lock the church door before making my way to the car.
I sat in the car wondering if I could drive home, so I gave myself the “How many fingers am I holding up?” test. I raised my left hand up and saw that I had 7 fingers. Close enough, because I was pretty sure I was holding up six.
Needless to say, I sort of feel like I did get mugged. By a man-eating ginormous wasp and a wooden pillar.
I am now, a bit, doubtful of surviving the impending zombie apocalypse. It’s not a far stretch to think that, while running away from a zombie, I’d hit a tree and fall to the ground (much like today) and be a scrumptious meal to the zombie.
As Ra’s Al Ghul taught Bruce Wayne in Batman Beyond, I need to always be mindful of my surroundings.
Hopefully, it won’t scar. Otherwise, I’ll be the Korean Harry Potter.
On a completely different note. I like the barber shop that I went today. No more Supercuts for me.
… does anyone else hear that?