Sometimes, crap happens.

Whether you deserve it or not. Whether you expect it or not. Crap happens.

Churches are not exempt from crap. Just because we are people of God, by no means does it imply that we got it all together. I am weary of those “perfect” Christians, where everything is oh-so perfect. But that’s just me.

Broken people are part of the Church and lead the church. When and where perfect love and grace collides and intermingles with brokenness, things get extremely messy. At times, God’s perfect love and grace wins out. Other times, our stubborn brokenness chooses to reign.

I realize a part of my maturity as I’m typing this. I’m trying to be as vague as possible to — not cause more trouble, really. But before I continue, please let me be perfectly clear. This has nothing to do with my current appointment and me. Nor does it have anything to do with me and my wife. If it did, I wouldn’t even dare to be vague and post something onto a platform this public.

But certain things have taken dominance over my thoughts. And as I sat down to write something, just for the sake of keeping this blog updated, I can’t think of writing anything else besides this. So please let me vaguely continue.

Things have taken a very interesting (in a bad way) turn of events.

During times like this, you have no choice but to just hold on to faith and believe that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And we all are holding onto faith. Some more than me.

But my biggest challenge, my biggest concern is that I come out of the other end grudge-less and free of bitter, malice and anger.

To hold on to the pain; to grasp on to the frustrations and anger; to let it fester; to nurse it; to let it grow and mature — I’ll be creating a monster. A monster that I may not be able to control. A monster that may take up so much of my heart that it chases the presence of God out.

So. I have to find it in me to not get too emotionally involved. Attached, maybe. Because, really, it’s not about me. It doesn’t effect me as much as the folks involved, per se.

Instead of holding onto anything else, I just need to hold on to God’s grace. And let the peace of God rule my heart.

Call it being naive or simple minded or… I don’t know, blind faith? But there’s something powerful; something that was different, something new when Joseph assured his brothers to not fear him after Jacob had passed. On top of assuring them, Joseph added, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.”

No one is intending to “harm” anyone. I’m sure everyone involved is thinking they’re doing what is “right” in the big picture.

But God will redeem this situation, I have faith in that. In the end, everything will be as it was supposed to be.

You would think, knowing how the movie ends, you wouldn’t be so anxious during the middle, the conflict, part of the film.

But, it would be a lie to tell you that I’m not anxious during this middle part of this “movie.”

Well, one of these days, when it’s all said and done, hopefully I’ll find ways to use this story in a sermon, a blog post and/or a bible study. Until then, sorry about the vagueness rambling and ranting. It’s a bit unbecoming, I bet.

I recently bought Gungor’s live CD, Creation Liturgy. And I’m at the end, as I’m finishing up my thoughts here. And I came to the part where a spoken poet just confidently yelled, “Have no fear! Have no fear! Have no fear! Our God! Is! Here!”

Amen, sister. Amen.