More Than 140 Characters: I Got Pulled Over

Is there a worse feeling than seeing those blue lights flashing in your rearview mirror?

So, there I was yesterday, heading home from a visitation.

I was at a red light– and yes, I know — I pulled out my phone. I was going to text my wife that I was going to stop by home for a quick moment.
That's when I saw the officer behind me on his motorcycle. I quickly dropped my phone and prayed that he didn't see it.

The light turned green, and I proceeded acting as naturally as I possibly could, hoping not to give anything away. He sort of lingered next to me. Then sort of slowed down and lingered behind me.

Maybe he didn't see anything, I thought. If he did, why would he wait this long to pull me over?
I was about to make a turn just to have him stop following me when those damn lights came on.

Aw, crud.

I pulled in a parking lot, because I read somewhere that police officers appreciate, as it looks like I'm looking out for his safety.

I began to calculate how much this will cost me. 25? 50? 90? Will it raise my insurance rates? Ugh! why did I even pick up my phone?!

I rolled down the window and he stared at me with a smirk (I hated him and his smirk at that moment) and said, “Now. Was that on?”
And I let out a very apologetic sigh and said, “Yes sir. It was on.”

As he got off his motorcycle, he began to explain, “In January 2012, there was a change in the law that the seatbelt has to be on your shoulder completely and not to the side.”

“Wait, what?”
“Your seat belt — the shoulder strap seemed to be off.”
“My seat belt? I was telling you that my phone was on. I thought you were pulling me over because I was texting.”
“Texting? No. I didn't even see you using your phone.”
“Oh. Well, uh.. my seat belt was on. No doubt about it. The shoulder strap was on.”

He asked me to put on the seat belt. So I did and thankfully, the seat belt naturally slid a tad bit down to the upper-side of my shoulder.

“Yea, from where I was, it looks like you had the shoulder strap hooked underneath your arm. That's why I sort of trailed off behind you to see your shoulder strap.”
“No sir. I always wear my seat belt. I thought you were pulling me over for using my phone — which I know I shouldn't. And I apologize.”
“Yea, it's really dangerous. But, like I said, since I didn't see you on your phone,” he smirked as he made his way to his motorcycle. (I couldn't love him or his smirk more at that moment). “Just… I know you know better.”


“Yes, sir. I do. I apologize.”
“Be safe. And be smart. Have a good day.”

“And you, sir, have an A1 day.” (Okay, I didn't say that. But, Breaking Bad is occupying a large space in my thoughts.)

I can't tell you how stupid I felt for being pulled over for using my phone — even if that wasn't why he really pulled me over.
And I do know better.

Anyway, lessoned learned. This incident reminded me of what Louis CK said about smartphones (NSFW language — be warned).

And have an A1 day!

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