Did you happen to catch this news over the weekend?
Basically, a Kansas couple left this note for their waiter:
Thank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD. Queers do not share in the wealth of GOD, and you will not share in ours. We hope you will see the tip your fag choices made you lose out on, and plan accordingly. It is never too late for GOD’S love, but none shall be spared for fags. May GOD have mercy on you.
Really? Really!?
You know, I once thought this was a stereotype of Christians — being bad tippers. But I’ve met enough, actual people in the service industry who have told me that they hate working the Sunday shifts because they know that they may not be tipped.
And it’s not because they do a poor job. It’s just that in lieu of money, they’ll receive a tract. Or some other Christianese thing with a Christianese message.
I thought that was just an urban legend that non-Christians made up.
But now I’ve heard too many personal stories to realize that it’s the sad truth.
Dude, I get annoyed (and sometimes offended) when people hand me tracts as I’m leaving the grocery store. And I have no shame in admitting that I use the “Ah. Sorry! No speak Engrish” card to not be bothered. And, I have no shame in admitting that I use the “I have to apologize to you. I am afraid that I do not know how to engage in what can be a very promising conversation with you using the Korean language” card when I’m at Korean grocery stores.
But, to receive a tract in lieu of compensation?
That’s just being cheap, y’all.
We’re known by so many negative things, can cheap not be one of them?
Think about how we’d feel if someone, instead of paying us money, gave us a sheet of paper explaining what they believe and why we should believe it with them.
Chances are, those same people… er… we… would demand that they give us what is owed to us.
So why the hell do we do it?
Why do we give out tracts as tips?
We’re not “winning” anyone to Christ that way.
We’re just being cheap. And petty. And ugly. Is that who God is to us?
The couple themselves admitted that the service was “excellent.”
What does that waiter’s personal life have to do anything about the service you just received?
And what’s the point, really, of leaving such a hateful not using God’s name?
Who on God’s green (and sort of browning… and slowly melting…) earth would read that and be like, “YES! I NEED TO BE A CHRISTIAN! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!”
I know that the issue of homosexuality is a divisive one. And it brings out all sorts of emotions out of people.
But, whatever your belief is — how can saying things like that be okay?
How is that note redemptive?
How is that note loving?
What does that note say about God?
And while we’re at it — why is “shame” the go-to method that we Christians use? I mean, maybe you’ll disagree, but I feel like shame is the most used tactic in our “bag of tricks” that we use to “evangelize.”
We’re pretty good at kicking people when they’re already down.
And if shame doesn’t work, then we turn to fear, often combing shame with fear in hopes that they’ll come to the dark..er.. light side.
“You keep on doing that, and you may find yourself in hell. Turn to Christ, or burn!”
As Beth Moore said (and I paraphrase), you can’t shame someone out of a pit. You’ll just shame them deeper into it.
I’m getting carried away.
Grace and love are far more effective than shame and fear.
Anyway, I can go on and on about this. But I won’t.
Just… when you go out to eat, in the words of Teddy KGB:
Joseph Yoo 
Awesome post! I am a straignt, white, CHRISTIAN waitress living in the “Bible Belt” and I, too, have been the victim of this sort of behavior. Because I have an Industrial ear piercing and am too poor to buy pants that fit, I had a couple who thought I was a dike. I didn’t correct them because I didn’t feel that it was the time or the place to have that discussion with these people. It’s a small town. I’ll catch them out. Anyway, they DID tip me ($2…) but they left a tract about “how God feels” about homosexuality. I have gay friends. I don’t necessarily agree with what they believe, but I love them still. God does. He may be disappointed, as I sometimes am, but He loves them still. Deuteronomy 30:4 says that even if you are banished to the most distant lands under heaven, from there the Lord your God will gather you up and bring you home. No matter how far you stray, He will bring you back, should you so choose. In that same respect, however, why would these people who have been persecuted so mercilessly WANT to be associated with their aggressors? No one has persecuted the gay community the way Christians have, all the while spewing scripture and praying that all will “see the light”. I don’t know about anyone else, but I was taught that you catch more with honey than vinegar. Until this impasse is resolved, I will continue to tolerate and even LOVE the gay community just as my Lord would.
Claire
I guess what it boils down to me is… who am I to be all up in someone’s love life? What does their love life, whom they choose to love — affect me, or have anything to do with me and my life? And why should I tell others who to love?
Thanks for sharing. 🙂