On one hand, it seems a lot. 1000 of anything is a lot. I’d appreciate a 1000 dollar bills. Or heck. I’d take a 1000 pennies, too.
On the other hand, it doesn’t seem much considering that I’ve had this particular blog since 2007. But I’ve had other blogs before this one, too. I’ve had a couple of Xanga pages. Remember those? And a couple iterations of this blog on blogspot before it became this blog. Choosing a name for the blog was the hardest. I remember the one of the first versions of this blog was called Mind-Bloggling. Eh? Eh? EH?
Then there was the Daily Planet. (Are you that surprised?) I quickly scrapped that because there was going to be nothing daily about it.
I remember trying to model a blog after the writer of Somewhere on the Masthead. And wrote a lot of (embellished) stories about my personal life and ending each post with a cliff-hanger for the next post. That didn’t last very long. I had nothing really interesting in my personal life worth embellishing. Or for cliff-hangers.
Then I finally switched over to wordpress, mainly because people like Andrew Conard switched over to wordpress and I liked the way his blog looked.
I started by calling this blog “Step by Step.” But eventually, I got a bit narcissistic and decided to take josephyoo.com before some other Joseph Yoo took it.
My first post ever on this blog was about a young girl who died of cancer. I was confronted with my first experience with Death as a pastor — someone, despite all my efforts, I’d get more familiar with as time went on.
I wrote about my shortcoming. Instead of being pastoral, I was hesitant. I was scared. I was young and a 12 year old was dying. I had no idea what to do. So, I ran and hid. And 7 years later, I still think about her once in a while. I think about watching Little Mermaid with her and ordering a Brooklyn Style pizza from Domino’s because she wanted to try it. I’ll also remember how scared I was to pick up the phone and say, “I’ll be coming over again.” Maybe it would’ve been different if my wife was there with me. She had to go back to DC to finish school (I was in Hawaii). Someone once mentioned that I should go and move on from it. I don’t think I ever will. And I’m okay with that. I’m not being eaten by guilt — at least not anymore. But it will remind me that some times, things are bigger than me. And when I’m confronted with the reality that I am nothing but a speck of dust, I must remember to lean in and depend on a source of strength that is far greater. I still get scared. I still hesitate. But nowadays, I trust in God and just dive in, praying that where I am weak, God will equip.
This blog has always been an outlet for me. I write these posts more for me than anyone else. I have to choose words more carefully now, since more church folks have been reading them over the years. I’ve gotten into trouble over the past with a few posts here and there. A rule of thumb on this blog is that if I can’t say it in person or to the person/group, then I can’t write about it. We pastors have come to know that the most chicken-s**t thing folks do is leave scathing “anonymous” notes. “From Someone Who Cares” or “A Concerned Member”. I don’t want to write anything that I can’t sign my name to.
This blog also has opened up a few awesome doors for me. Somehow, some way, I got connected with Shane Raynor and by the grace of God, he likes me (well, at least I think he does). I’ve never met the dude in person, but one of these, if I ever find myself in Nashville, I’m going to make him hang out with me over coffee. Shane’s given me an awesome opportunity to write for Ministry Matters. He’s also given me the opportunity to be part of the Converge Bible Study series where, again, I had this awesome opportunity to contribute to two studies for the series. (Sorry — shameless plug: Practical Prayer & Encountering Grace).
I’m grateful for this sacred space to write out my thoughts, reflections, and ramblings. Sometimes for over 1000 words. But more, I’m grateful for you who take time to read these posts.
Thank you for reading. Always. I’m grateful that you take time to read through my grammatical errors and ramblings.
1000th post. In the words of Miley Cyrus, “That’s purty cool.”