For the life of me — I couldn’t tell you the anniversary of our first date or our first kiss or things of that matter. I know our Wedding Anniversary, and really isn’t that the one that matters the most?

So it wasn’t surprising that it was through the Time Hop app that I learned 2/27/14 was the day that N was introduced to us. At the end of this summer, he would’ve been with us longer than he was without us.

There’s a tinge of — for a lack of a better word — regret that we don’t know many things about his first 3.5 years of his life. We have no baby pictures — nothing. And I’m thinking he was a cute baby. Looking at the pictures from 2/27/14, I can’t get over how much of a baby he looked like. Because he was a big boy. All I remember is just how big he was. But looking at the pictures — he was a baby.

There’s also sadness from the things we do know about that happened in the first 3.5 years of his life. We have a stack of paperwork detailing things that took place in his first three years of existence.

But that’s the past. And the past only describes us — it never has to define us.

We’re on a new path; a new journey now. Together. Even if we are sort of a make-shift family that came together in a non-traditional way. And yes, I have lot of worries, concerns, frustrations, and angst for the future. But the joy, hope, laughter, and love far outshines and outweighs those things.

… at least that’s what I tell myself when he’s driving me crazy and up the wall…