“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever” – Steve Jobs
Looking back, I fully trust in my ‘gut, destiny, life’ God that the those “random” dots have led me to exactly where I am today.
I move forward knowing full well that I am exactly where God needs me to be.
This post is part of a bigger post that I’ve been working on, but I had to share bits of it now due to what came out of our Diocesan Council.
Our Bishop, Andy Doyle, pledged 13 million dollars to ‘repair and commence racial healing’.
Here’s the actual Bishop’s Address (it is 53 minutes long. Skip to 25 minutes to hear the announcement. But the whole thing is worth a listen).
A friend asked me if I have doubts/regrets about the move to the Episcopal Church.
I looked at him in the eye and said, “There has not been a moment where I wondered if I made a mistake. Not even a second. With all the fiber of my being, I know that I made the right decision. I feel… like I’m home.”
When churches are arguing over who is in and who is out… I have an opportunity to create a church that is committed to everybody being in.
When churches are concerned with getting people to their church; to sit in their pews; to fill their buildings — when they believe that the most/biggest missional thing they can do is to have people come to them (and their churches) on Sunday mornings… Mosaic is being birthed by a church that has been committed to going to the people, meeting them where they are at, and being committed to being present in the community. So much so that their efforts have been recognized by the city and the chamber of commerce.
When a denomination is on the verge of divorce and creating further division within their “United” name, The Diocese of Texas recognizes the harm our churches have done in the past and are committed to repair and commence racial healing, and putting money where our mouth is.
Trust me. TR-ust me. I know that not everything is rosy and perfect and rainbows and butterflies. Every institution has its flaws and shortcomings and biases and its desire to maintain status quo (to name a few)– and the Episcopalians are definitely not exempt from that.
But the past 2-3 years, my soul kept taking hits that it just wouldn’t bounce back from.
There were periods where I preached barefoot. The floor was hella cold, but it was a personal reminder to be jolted into the present; to be rooted in God’s presence; to leave behind the anger/frustration/angst; to be reminded: it’s not about me. It’s never about me.
To be even more dramatic, it was to serve as a reminder that my soul is still alive and I’m still here.
But then, I kept reminding myself of the dedicated and loving people, the cloud of witnesses that surrounded me. They gave me life, hope, and sustenance to carry on. The barefoot was no longer necessary (also, I received too many complaints. It simply wasn’t worth it).
The past 6 months, I’ve been reminded — and more importantly reaffirmed– of my calling, especially since I have to go through another ordination process. One must really want to be an ordained clergy if they’re willing to go through 2 separate ordination processes… right?
Being surrounded by missional and incarnational people and leaders — who are committed to not only making their churches healthier, but also their neighborhoods — my heart and soul feels like it’s finally at home.
There’s so much work ahead of us.
But I’m excited for what the future holds for Mosaic and for the Diocese of Texas.
May God continue to be our vision, wisdom, and Ruler of all.