My how time flies.
You know, I’ve always wanted kids.
When things were getting real with my then girlfriend (now wife), we talked about the future, kids, the whole 9 yards.
She was always okay with whatever card life dealt us regarding children.
No kids? “That’ll be fine.”
1 kid? “Cool.”
2 kids? “Yea, okay.”
3 kids? “As long as it’s not all boys.”
4 kids? “Okay, by this point let’s have 6 and name them Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday and each kid will be responsible for the chores of the day their names correspond with.”
Of course, Sunday is the day of rest, hence only 6, not 7.
Sometimes, life doesn’t go according to your plan.
Fertility is a lot harder than people make it sound like.
Infertility is a lot more painful than people want to think about.
LPT (life pro-tip): Don’t ask couples about why they don’t have kids yet. It ain’t your business why a couple doesn’t (or does) have kids. If you must be the nosy Karen, then maybe asking like — nothing and stop being a unnecessary nosy f*ck.
We went through a stretch of time where everyone seemingly (and easily) got pregnant.
And it sucked. I tried not make it… suck, but it did. It only got harder as former youth students starting growing up, getting married, and having children before us.
I think this affected me more than it did my wife.
April Fool’s Day was another unnecessary reminder of the plight of life because people love putting up sonograms (is that what that’s called? Ultrasounds?) saying, “We’re pregnant again!” And then, “April Fool’s!!”
I mean, you can’t fault them for playing a (let’s be honest, lame) joke. And I know no one ever meant to be insensitive or mocking — but that’s how it often felt.
(And to be honest, I don’t know if I was more annoyed with how lame of a joke that is or how flippantly they treated fertility.)
Time — as it does — continued to move forward without permission nor concern for others (Father Time is a selfish b**ch).
One day, the Wife asked what I thought about foster care.
I wasn’t interested. All I knew of the foster system is what I saw on TV — which never paints anything in a fair light.
All it takes is a seed.
The idea of foster care took root in the back of my mind and slowly started to grow.
We talked about it more and more and then (much to the chagrin of my parents) went through with being certified as foster parents.
After months of waiting, we finally got the call.
There was a 3 year old boy looking for a home, and would we be interested?
On February 27 in the year of our Lord 2014, we drove to Camarillo and met the Oxnard born boy who we’d eventually call “son.”
To be honest, parenthood is overrated.
And no one, not-a-thing prepares you for parenthood. No matter how many books you’ve read; no matter how many mommy/daddy blogs you visit — nothing prepares you for parenthood.
It’s a “here you go and good luck!” type of deal.
There are more instruction on how to set up your iPhone than being in charge of a living, breathing, eating thing.
Today, we celebrate the 7th anniversary of Nathanael being introduced in our lives.
I can’t believe it’s been 7 years already.
I also can’t believe how one person can be such a source of pride; frustration; love; joy; annoyance and many many other things rolled into one.
Bill Watterson said it best:
Life rarely goes according to plan.
However, when we’re barreling through an unexpected detour, that doesn’t mean that path is void of beauty, joy, grace, and love.
Sure, this may not have been the path I had imagined 10 or so years ago.
But I wouldn’t trade where we ended up for anything in this world.
Here’s to you, Buddy.
May you keep shining brighter than the stars!