I was thinking about something that I read a while ago and reiterated in a sermon recently: Jesus is in the business of wrecking lives.
Jesus constantly nudges and pushes me to go a step further out of my comfort zone.
It’s definitely something I don’t want to do, but I know that I must, because Jesus has place a part of his heart into mine.
I wrote in my journal (I keep a physical journal… that way I can express what I really think about things and people without fearing the backlashes… unless I lose the journal, and someone finds it. And it’s a journal. Not a diary), that my priorities are getting messed up and that I need to really reorganize my life.
I’d figure that’s where Jesus would come in, and like an interior designer, let him rearrange the things in my life and heart the way he seems fit (read: the right way).
Of course, the challenge to that is the letting go. The desire is to hold on to what I know and how everything is right now. Even when I can acknowledge that something isn’t right, I still want to hold onto the current life, because Jesus coming in is a real scary thing.
The scariest thing? I’m not in control anymore.
And that tension has always existed in my life: my wanting to be in control and the need to let that want go.
But with this interior designer, I know that when he sets up my life the way he seems fit, my life would be easier too. Not in the sense that everything is going to be hunky dory, but in the sense that my priorities will be straightened out.